Setting and maintaining boundaries is a lot like driving a car: you have to constantly make adjustments in response to the changing environment in order to keep yourself safe. Life is constantly changing, so the amount of distance or closeness you wanted or needed from one person can change from one part of your life to the next.
Think of a best friend from childhood, for example. You may have grown up attached at the hip, having sleepovers as often as you could, and talking on the phone when you weren’t together. As an adult, you may still have this friend in your life, but if you have a spouse, you can’t continue to have sleepovers with your bestie every night. A boundary must be put into place in order to try to satisfy all parties, and maintain intimacy with your friend and spouse.
Unfortunately, sometimes, not all parties will be satisfied with the boundaries you put in place. And when that happens, guilt can show up a lot. We chatted with Jordan Madison (IG: @therapyismyjam), creator of Therapy Is My J.A.M., about boundaries you shouldn’t feel guilty for enforcing.
In a world where our phones almost feel like an extension of ourselves, Madison reminds us you’re allowed to ignore your device for your well-being. “Putting your phone on do not disturb so that you don’t have interruptions” is one boundary she says you shouldn’t feel bad about. “You are not obligated to answer phone calls and text messages as soon as they happen.”