In a new video circling the web, Instagram personality and Wild ‘n Out star B. Simone created a lot of controversy regarding her new “#ManifestLoveChallenege.” While some think that the challenge is a good checks and balances system when it comes to dating overall, others think that the star’s post is unnecessarily targeted towards Black women, who many feel don’t really need any more of that advice.
For those with a lot of requirements when it comes to who they’ll date without having much to offer back to their potential partners in return, the video B. Simone posted on Valentine’s Day seemed like it was intended to be a wake-up call. According to her, not only is it ridiculous that many women have standards for men that they haven’t achieved themselves, but it’s also unfair and even hindering them from finding the potential man of their dreams.
“I want to start a little love challenge cause y’all already know we’re manifesting love all 2021,” she said in the clip. Giving examples of what she considered to be the flawed thinking many women subconsciously put into practice when it comes to dating, she continued, “We got all these things we want in a man, a list of things. ‘He gotta be tall, he gotta be dark, he gotta be handsome, he gotta have pretty feet. He gotta be a family man, he gotta be financially stable, he gotta be rich, he gotta be successful, he gotta be all these things.’ And we ain’t even half the things on that list,” she said to the women watching her video.
“‘He gotta be a family man,’ b*tch you ain’t talked to your momma in six months but you want him to be a family man. ‘He gotta be financially stable,’ you’re account is in the negative ma’am, overdraft fees. ‘He gotta have a job,’ you need to go fill out some applications cause you’re still unemployed. ‘He gotta have pretty teeth,’ you ain’t seen the dentist in six years. ‘He gotta have a six-pack and be in shape,’ you can’t even walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing. Get your life together,” the star emphasized. “This whole list that he gotta be — you ain’t even half the things on that list.”
“So this is what I challenge you to do,” she said before detailing her advice. “So we can manifest love all 2021, make that list of that perfect dream man that you got you got in your mind. Then, make a list of the type of woman he would need right by his side — fix you. Whatever you want, become that — Let’s become the person we want to attract, how about that. That’s the challenge.”
Even though B. Simone’s points seem pretty valid and well-intentioned on the surface, as many users pointed out, what the star had to say highlights a wider problem Black women face of often being fed “relationship advice” that doesn’t truly serve them, and generally speaks down to them. To be honest, while some might interpret it as tough love, it wasn’t necessary for B. Simone to call out her fellow Black women in such an aggressive way, especially with a tone that implies and/or assumes many Black women don’t already have the qualifications they’re looking for in a potential partner when dating.
Additionally, some users commented on how the star’s points just blatantly came across as hypocritical.
For one, last summer she publicly said herself that she wouldn’t date a man with a 9-to-5 job because she preferred a man of CEO status.
“I mean, he could be a hustling entrepreneur,” she said at the time. When taken to task about it then, she said she needed a man in a position of power because he could understand her own hustle.
But now this.
In addition to that, people called her out for being accused of plagiarizing from bloggers for a book she was working on last year. Framing the challenge as a way women can “manifest” the men of their dreams, in a tweet with over 26,000 Likes, user @G14_Classified_ wrote, “I thought we all agreed to stop listening to B. Simone after she scammed y’all with that plagiarized leaflet marketed as a manifestation book.” Also, pinpointing the plagiarized manifestation scandal B. Simone endured last year, user @o_keilani noted that in light of the Wild ‘n Out star’s past, her comments speaking down on women in an effort to give them relationship advice was pretty self-righteous.
The user wrote, “If y’all don’t understand that it’s not what B. Simone said but the fact that SHE said it and she’s a hypocrite, attempting to create a new fan base after losing her old one due to plagiarizing coloring books she printed at Staples, I don’t know what to tell you.”
Regardless of how you feel about what B. Simone had to say, it seems like people are generally less and less willing to just take the messages social media influencers or celebrities say with a grain of salt. While dating someone who’s of equal or aspirational status to you isn’t anything new, the real question is, why do so many people have a problem with Black women prioritizing dating men who are just as successful as them, if not more? Also, even when Black women do meet all requirements they aim to find in a partner, what happens when the dating pool available to them just doesn’t match up?
Continue reading below to see some tweets from the ongoing conversation on B. Simone’s post.