12 Useless Things We Say To Single People On Valentine’s Day

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My guy will just get gassy and fall asleep early

You try to make partners seem so unappealing with some story about how your guy will order the pasta even though he’s sensitive to gluten, he’ll drink too much, and he’ll pass out farting, leaving you eating chocolate alone in front of the TV. The truth is though that people ultimately want that. Okay, maybe not that. Everybody wants to get to that comfort level with somebody where no one feels the need to pretend to be perfect (read: non-gassy). You and her both know that you go to bed with a smile on your face next to your gassy partner so cut the crap.

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