Why You Can’t Have (Healthy) Love Without Self-Love

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self-love journey

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Shame fog impairs your judgment

Hogi explains that, when you’re triggered, that’s when you can stop seeing things clearly. “While doing that [vilifying the other person], it’s also re-affirming that [limiting] belief [about yourself]. It becomes a ‘shame fog.’ Shame gets involved and you can’t see through it. It’s oppressive. When your judgment becomes impaired in a romantic relationship, it’s a good sign that there is shame.” Self-love is an important step to evaluating and releasing those negative beliefs about yourself, so you can escape the trigger/shame cycle, and approach relationships with clear eyes. Anything that’s difficult that can arise in love with other people – from conflict to perceived rejection to disappointment – can be seen for what it is (an isolated incident that isn’t personal), only once you’ve learned to love yourself.

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