“Divorce is like the death of a chapter in your life,” says parenting coach Aria Craig. Sit with that for a moment. The other areas of one’s life – the other chapters – it feels are always with a person. Old boyfriends or girlfriends. College. That internship with the mean boss. They were painful, but they were also integral parts of the whole story. Ultimately, once a person is healed, that failed marriage will also feel like a necessary and integral part of their life story. But at first, it can feel, as Craig put it, like something died. There’s such finality to it. Where does it fit into everything? What do you do with all of the pain that it’s left you with? Most other experiences that are difficult can be reframed as learning experiences. But divorce can, at first, feel like a pure failure, from which nothing good can be derived.
As the award-winning and best-selling Amazon author of the series “The Single Mother Diaries,” Craig was the ideal person to speak to about this concept. There is life after divorce, and it doesn’t have to be – nor should it be – something pushed under the rug and forgotten. Not only can one heal from the most painful divorce; one can come out stronger. Here is Craig’s expert advice on how to do just that.
The pain ebbs and flows
Craig notes that you may have periods when you’re feeling fine, and think divorce isn’t affecting you, but then you’ll have a difficult moment. That’s common, and how it can go on for some time. She says “It normally takes an average of two years for a person to cycle through their emotions after a divorce.”