There are a host of reasons why a person may feel pressured to marry. Sometimes it’s peer pressure or pressure from relatives. In some cases, it’s the race to beat the biological clock. Sometimes, it may just be excitement about a new partner. While there are some unique instances when people are certain they’ve met the one, get married early, and live happily ever after, it’s generally advisable to take your time with a decision as serious and as longterm as marriage since rushing can lead to serious regrets. Here are a few of them:
You and your spouse may not be as compatible as you think
It’s tough to know whether or not you’re truly compatible with someone until you’ve spent at least a few years with them. It’s one thing to have enough in common to sustain a brief courtship, but it’s an entirely different story for a lifetime commitment.
You may overlook red flags
The great thing about taking your time to date is that it allows you more time to get to know a person. When we first meet someone new, we tend to put our best foot forward. Choosing to marry someone while you’re still in the infatuation stage means there’s a good chance that you haven’t seen all of their warts and imperfections.
You miss out on some of the fun stuff
Dating is an important and fun step on the road to marriage. Sadly, it’s one that is often overlooked on the mad dash to the altar. Marriage comes with major responsibilities and there will be times when you look back on your carefree girlfriend days with longing.
You may not know their family well
Quiet as it’s kept, when you marry someone, you marry their family. And while you may think you love your new boo’s relatives now, you should know that many families know how to hold it together at the beginning. It’s advisable to date long enough that you’ll be able to get at least identify your in-laws’ particular brand of crazy so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not you truly want to marry into that family.
You may not be financially established
One of the leading causes of divorce in America is money. As a result, it can be helpful to be sure that you’re in a place of financial stability before tying the knot. That way, you and your partner can start your new life together as two financially dependent adults.
You may not be emotionally prepared
Jumping into a lifetime commitment prematurely often means that you haven’t given yourself time to emotionally prepare. This can backfire in the long run and cause major problems within the marriage including misplaced feelings of resentment and deep regret.
You may not want what you think you want
Wanting a career-driven partner looks good on paper until you realize that they spend more time at work than they do at home. Desiring to be with a family man sounds good in theory until you really that he’s deeply enmeshed with his boundary-stomping family. Even if you’re certain your boyfriend or girlfriend has the characteristics that you want in a life partner, date them long enough to be sure that it’s not a gift and a curse situation.
You might begin to feel like you’re missing out
When rushing into a marriage prematurely, it’s not uncommon to feel that you are missing out on life because you settled down too quickly. While marriage definitely shouldn’t stop you from living your best life, being a single person has perks that are not necessarily afforded to married people.
What ifs will get the best of you
Anytime you rush a major decision, you open yourself up to potential regret. While occasionally wondering “What if?” during personal moments of reflection can be normal, these moments are often fleeting. However, when you know for a fact that you rushed, you will also wonder what may have happened had you taken your time.
You may fail to have important conversations
When you intend to spend a lifetime with someone, it’s a good idea to be sure that your ideals and future plans somewhat match. Unfortunately, many who have had brief courtships miss this step and learn later down the line that they want very different things out of life.
You may be in love with the idea of your partner, but not actually in love with them
Infatuation is deceiving because it feels like love when it may not be. In many cases, infatuation fades and people realize that they’re not actually in love with their partners at all, which is why it’s a terrible idea to get married too early into a relationship.