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In the last few years, people have finally become familiar with terms used by professionals to describe certain personality disorders. While the definitions are new, the behaviors are not, with many women falling victim to men with narcissistic, psychotic or emotionally abusive personas.

Pointing out a narcissist can be difficult because their unhealthy quirks can be dismissed as a form of insecurity, pride, or egocentricity. But narcissism goes much deeper than that, and if you aren’t aware of the red flags, you may find yourself deeply involved with someone who can not reciprocate or give love.

Mayo Clinic defines narcissistic personality disorder “as a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.”

Here are some ways to know if you’re dealing with one, according to Ladders.

Every Conversation Is About Them

You ever speak to someone and they never even take a moment to ask “how are you?” That’s a sign. Narcissists will find a way to make any and all things about themselves. They tend not to listen very well, and will cut you off to add their two cents or shift the focus back to them.

Obsessed With Outside Appearances

While we can all be vain at times, narcissists take it to a whole new level. Are they constantly checking out themselves in mirrors, lakes or whatever holds their reflection? Is their ambition driven more by “just wanting a title or role” because it sounds good .versus having true passion for it? That may be a sign.

They Can Not Handle Criticism

No one likes to be told about themselves, but those with a healthy sense of self can take proper criticism and apply it to become better. Narcissists cannot. They may reject and ignore the input or at worst, become angry, hostile or violent.

Controlling

Narcissists “want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control — of everything,” Dr. Margalis Fjelstad told Mind Body Green. They may try to control what you wear, what you say, how you eat, etc.

Entitlement

A narcissist wants everything and anything whether they have worked for it or deserve it.

“A narcissist’s need for validation is like a funnel,” Fjelstad wrote. “You pour in positive, supportive words, and they just flow out the other end and are gone. No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it’s enough — because deep down they don’t believe anyone can love them.”

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