Maybe we don’t think enough about the fact that our male partners need to feel desired. We’re raised with these ideas that it’s the women who are to be desired and the men who are to do the desiring. And as women, we spend our lives so often trying to dodge unwanted affection and attention. So we can just get it in our heads that men spend so much time thinking about getting access to women that they desire, that they never even think about their own desirability. But that isn’t true. I’ve always felt that the idea that a man should constantly be working for his partner’s affection and that a woman should be treated like a princess and just judge how her partner showers her with attention was really…unfair. Antiquated. And actually, not at all feminist. The happiest of relationships consist of two people who constantly ask themselves, “How can I make my partner feel loved today? How can I make my partner feel attractive today? How can I make my partner’s day easier?” That goes in both directions. You can’t drop the ball on that stuff. Here are ways you might make your partner feel undesirable.
Never initiating sex
You may feel it’s enough that when he initiates, you go for it. You don’t say no. But he wants to feel that you want him so badly that you think about sex on your own. He wants you to initiate. He wants to feel that you’re enthusiastic about sex – rather than simply tolerant of it. You know how you love how much he wants you? He wants to feel that way, too.