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Double dates can be the perfect way to have both date night and a social night at once. Since you’re usually balancing life between your relationship and your friendships anyway, finding a couple you and your partner love to double date with can be a huge relief if you know how to act. Here are 15 unspoken rules for double dates.

Pick a couple you both like

Try to not let somebody “take one for the team” on this double date. If your partner really despises one or both the people in the other couple, just choose another couple. You can see those friends on your own, another time.

 

OR pay your partner back somehow

If you absolutely have to do a double date with a couple your partner doesn’t like, tell him you owe him one—like you’ll go on a double date with a couple he likes that you don’t like.

Meet there

It’s awkward if just one person is stuck being the designated driver while the other three can drink. Take your separate cars or cabs there.

Don’t go somewhere too pricey

You don’t totally know the financial situation of the other couple, so be conscious of the pricing where you go.

Sit next to your date

You already know your partner just fine. You’ll want to be able to face the other couple so you can talk easily.

If one person has to bail, you all bail

If one person in the other couple has to bail, don’t extend a pity invite and have them out to dinner with you and your partner. None of you want that—but they may say yes to be polite.

 

The guys are paying

It’s usually understood if it’s two men and two women that the men are picking up this check. Even if, when it’s just you and your partner, sometimes you’d pay, he’ll want to look like a provider in front of the other guy on this double date and pay.

 

 

 

 

 

No fighting

Don’t bicker on a double date. It makes everybody uneasy.

No over-sharing

The other couple doesn’t need to know about the weird things your partner does in bed or the gross things he does around the house. Save that for when you’re closer friends.

Engage everybody

Make sure everybody feels involved in the conversation! Especially if say, you’re the one who arranged this because you know one of the people in the other couple from work—don’t talk about work and leave the other two hanging.

Don’t talk about your relationship too much

Don’t talk too much about all the trips you have planned and the kids you want to have together etc. If you don’t know the other couple too well yet, you don’t know where they are in their level of commitment and you don’t want to be the reason they get in a fight later.

Easy on the PDA

It’s just a couple of hours together. You can all keep it in your pants. Your poor server at the restaurant doesn’t need two couples making out at a table.

If someone suggests getting a bottle or pitcher…

Do it! A) Because it’s a fun way to loosen everyone up and B) They may be suggesting that to save money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read the room on alcohol

If everyone is up for doing sake bombs, go for it. But don’t be the only one ordering shots when everybody else is sipping on one or two drinks.

You’re either all sharing or you’re not

If the other couple orders a bunch of small sharing plates and you plan on partaking in them, you and your partner have to order small sharing plates too. You can’t have your own steak, and nibble on their tapas, too.

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