In an interview with GQ, Smith opened up about their non-traditional marriage, saying Pinkett-Smith was the one who didn’t agree with following the “rules.”
Jada never believed in conventional marriage…Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship. So she grew up in a way that was very different than how I grew up. There were significant endless discussions about, what is relational perfection? What is the perfect way to interact as a couple? And for the large part of our relationship, monogamy was what we chose, not thinking of monogamy as the only relational perfection. We have given each other trust and freedom, with the belief that everybody has to find their own way. And marriage for us can’t be a prison. And I don’t suggest our road for anybody. I don’t suggest this road for anybody. But the experiences that the freedoms that we’ve given one another and the unconditional support, to me, is the highest definition of love.”
Smith made it clear that Pinkett-Smith wasn’t the only one enjoying their open marriage and that he has had his fun, too. He even had women he dreamed of pursuing, including Halle Berry and dancer Misty Copeland. He said he worked through these fantasies of having multiple women with his intimacy coach Michaela Boehm and found that it wasn’t what he wanted after all.
I don’t know where I saw it or some shit as a teenager, but the idea of traveling with 20 women that I loved and took care of and all of that, it seemed like a really great idea. And then, after we played it out a little bit, I was like, ‘That would be horrific. That would be horrific.’ I was like, ‘Can you imagine how miserable?’ What she was doing was essentially cleaning out my mind, letting it know it was okay to be me and be who I was. It was okay to think Halle is fine. It doesn’t make me a bad person that I’m married and I think Halle is beautiful. Whereas in my mind, in my Christian upbringing, even my thoughts were sins. That was really the process that Michaela worked me through to let me realize that my thoughts were not sins and even acting on an impure thought didn’t make me a piece of s***.”
The I Am Legend star also addressed when he and Pinkett Smith went on Red Table Talk to discuss August Alsina’s comments about he and Pinkett-Smith’s love affair. He said they went public because it was crucial for them to tell their side of the story.
“The pursuit of truth is the only way to be happy in this lifetime,” Smith said. “And we sort of came to the agreement that authenticity was the release from the shackles of fame and public scrutiny.”
A viral meme of Smith was a result of that interview where Smith looked sad and defeated. He said in reality that wasn’t the case at all.
“It was midnight and we were going on vacation the next day,” he said. “It was like, no, no, no, guys, I’m not sad. I’m fucking exhausted.”
Smith also has a memoir coming out where gets even more transparent about his marriage on November 9 –titled Will.