An Expert On The Importance Of Boundaries And Why They’re Hard To Set

Source: Moyo Studio / Getty

Boundaries aren’t up for discussion

When setting a boundary – especially if you’re new to it – Tawwab recommends keeping it brief and concise. Don’t leave it up for discussion. “A good way to think about this is, one, we can’t control a person’s reactions to our boundaries. Be as clear and concise as possible,” she says. “Sometimes we say too much and we still haven’t set a boundary. Reduce the conversation to one or two sentences by really stating your boundaries. ‘I want you to do this. It would be helpful if this happened.’ The boundaries are clear and to the point. Don’t bring a lot of context and storylines. Sometimes when you aren’t comfortable setting a boundary, people can talk you out of a boundary because people can give you so much information…because you didn’t sound secure in what you were saying.”