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good therapist and bad therapists

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Whether you pay a lot for your therapy sessions, or you’re fortunate enough not to, there are two things that everyone dedicates to therapy and those are time and energy. You give a lot of your emotional energy to therapy. You open up. You discuss things you aren’t fully comfortable talking about, pushing your own boundaries in the hopes of growing and healing. It can be exhausting. You just want a therapist who gives as much as you do to the process. However, therapists are only human, too. And we know that, in every profession, there can be people who are bad at their jobs. Even those with highly important jobs who take our wellbeing into their hands – like physicians, dentist, and therapists – can sometimes be less-than-professional. That’s one of the reasons some patients demand to see a diploma before agreeing to go to any sort of medical professional. They want to know just how badly that person wanted this job. Did they want it, like, Harvard-badly? Or online school badly? Hmmm…That’s not to say that you can’t have wonderful therapists who went to less-than-famous schools. It just brings up the point that not all therapists are created equal, and you reserve the right to be critical of your therapist. After all, she’s critical of you, isn’t she? Here are signs that your therapist isn’t listening to you.


She’s mostly taking notes now

If she’s constantly writing while you’re speaking, it may seem like she’s actually hyper-focused on what you’re saying, but think about it: can anyone full digest what they’re hearing if they’ve never taken the pen off their paper? A good note taker has long bouts of just listening, and short bouts of writing down a summary of what she just heard. She may just be jotting things down to pretend to be listening. Or she may be doodling.

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