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Bigstockphoto.com/Angry mad african couple in hats and scarves standing and arguing over colorful background

That, “Uh oh—a fight is coming” sensation is the worst. You’re in the middle of enjoying what was meant to be a fun and relaxing date night with your significant other but you already know, based on the way his face is contracting and his voice is changing, that a fight is coming. It’s like a tsunami that’s still far away, but at this point, is unstoppable. Once it gets here, it’s going to destroy any chance the two of you had at having fun or getting along for the next 12 to 48 hours. That’s an intense feeling and a feeling some people will do anything to get away from. Most of our fighting tactics have nothing to do with solving the issue at hand but rather running away from it, avoiding it, trying to push it aside or even trying to just “win” (regardless of what’s best for the couple). Here are the most toxic fighting techniques.

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Keeping score

If your partner does something wrong, don’t pull up the mental list you’ve kept of every single time he has made that same mistake. That’s very unfair. That is like bringing five guns to a knife fight. Your partner should only have to apologize for or handle the issue you’re dealing with on that day. If you bring up old mistakes, he’ll wonder how often you’re secretly angry and don’t say anything so you can use it as ammunition later.

 

 

 

 

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