Change Clothes: Can You Go From “Friends With Benefits” to “Wifey”?
3. Just Talk, No Sex
If backing off completely is hard for you to do since you are genuinely good friends, take sex out of the equation and see how he reacts. He may just come to the conclusion that you’re either seeing someone else or that you don’t want to be in the FWB situation anymore, but chances are he’ll ask you why you don’t want to go there anymore. This way you can tell him that while you understand that he’s said in the past that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, you don’t want to complicate things since you’ve decided that you want more of a commitment. This opens up the discussion to see if he’s changed his mind about wanting a relationship (with you), or if he still holds the same position – in which case you’ll know if you should move on or not. You may find that his feelings towards you have changed as well, but he didn’t want to rock the boat or scare you away. Men catch feelings too, so if you haven’t had “The Talk” in a while about expectations and boundaries, now may be a time to revisit the conversation to see where things stand. And if he doesn’t want to spend time with you without the sex, then you have your answer – and he’s not much of a friend anyway.