Change Clothes: Can You Go From “Friends With Benefits” to “Wifey”?
1. Define “Friend”
For some, there is no difference between a F-buddy, a jump-off or a friend with benefits. However, I think if you are a true friend, you have something to work with. A friends with benefits situation IS a relationship, maybe just not one with the title you want. If you think about it, most relationships are friends with benefits relationships…boyfriend/girlfriend or even a marriage. What it really comes down to is the commitment, because the passion is clearly there. It’s easier for a person to invest in someone who is a true friend, because when the sex fades (and it will), friendship is what you’re left with. So if you’re just a chick who creeps by in the middle of the night once every couple of weeks who has never met his friends or family, then you’re a jumpoff or F-buddy, not really a friend with benefits.
However, if you talk on a regular basis about things that don’t involve condoms, you spend time OUT of the bedroom in PUBLIC, and don’t have sex on every encounter, there’s a chance that he can fall for you in a deeper way than just the physical. If he treats you with respect, is considerate of your feelings, and vice versa, then you probably are truly friends…and from there a committed relationship may be possible. But if you feel used, disrespected or ashamed after hanging out with him, then he’s probably a predator, not a friend…and there’s no where you can go from there.