Open yourself up for the possibility of someone new – When you’re bitter you keep on rehashing the same relationship with the same person over and over again. But when you begin to open yourself to the possibility that there are other relationships out there (if you choose to go that way), it miraculously works for some people. Now, not saying that you need to rebound by jumping into something with someone to get over it; but realizing that just because one relationship didn’t last, doesn’t mean that all relationships don’t. Adopting this mindset might take you from bitter to hopeful.
(If you have children) Keep their best interest in mind – It’s not easy going from a nuclear family unit to a single parent, or a person who wants to see their children and the other person is using them as bargaining tools or a means of blackmail. The thing is, no matter how you feel about the person that you decided to have children with, that person is still your children’s parent, and it creates a chaotic environment for the children when one or both parents are holding on to bitter feelings toward each other. Keep your child in mind, and the fact that the child doesn’t want to hear negative things about the other parent. You don’t have to forgive them, but try to not be vindictive and find a way to be cordial.
Ask yourself: What is the benefit of reliving this situation? – You’re bitter, you’re angry, you can’t discuss your feelings without sweating, but what’s the benefit to all of this? Being bitter and reliving what happened is only causing you pain and stress, both physically and emotionally. Do you really want to give the same person who hurt you multiple opportunities to continue doing their damage even after they’re out of your life? There’s no benefit to it at all, so try to bypass it.
Kendra Koger has been successfully been bypassing bitterness and bypassing hitting pedestrians with her car! Hit her up on twitter @kkoger
More on Madame Noire!
- Okay, I’ll Submit. But Are You Ready To Love Me? (You Know, Like Christ Loved The Church)
- An Open Letter To The Almighty Goatee
- It’s Not About You Boo: Times When Your Sensitivity Gets In The Way
- Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind The Making Of “How Stella Got Her Groove Back”
- “Girl, You’ve Got a Big ‘Ol Juicy Booty!” 7 Ways Men Hurt Their Chances With Women
- The Danger Of Marrying For Practical Purposes: Why I Think Those Who “Settle” Are Potential Cheaters
- The Thirst Files: She Pulled A Disappearing Act, I Got Desperate