Are You Dealing With a Real Man Or A Little Boy? 7 Signs You’ve Got a Grown A** Man

June 19, 2012  |  
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This list is to clarify that when a woman says (as so many do on Twitter, Facebook, and comment sections of this website) that she wants a “Real Man” she does not mean a beer guzzling, football watching, gym-obsessed brute that will start fights over her. She means someone who is mature, will treat her like a queen, is ready to be treated like a king and not take it for granted, and most importantly, who respects the sanctity of a relationship. And here’s a few signs that you’ve found a real man:

Calls when he says he will

A real man understands that you have a life and schedule of your own, and that you are not just some toy he can pick up when the mood strikes him. He understands that you deserve the respect of having him make plans, and following through with those plans. So, when he says he’s going to call you at a certain time, he does. Because he understands that if he calls 30 minutes late, you could have moved on with your day. As you should have!

Accepts fault

A real man does not get defensive and immediately shut down when you get upset with him. A real man lets you speak your piece and seriously considers your words, analyzing himself and his actions and being open to the idea that you might be right—he might have messed up. Regardless of if he did or didn’t, his priority is to make you happy again, or to have you trust in him again, not to make things worse by getting defensive or dismissing your concerns. A real man always has the good of the relationship in mind, not just his own ego or pride.

A real man can commit

A man who sleeps with multiple women every week isn’t a real man…he is insecure. If he doesn’t get a new girl to fall for him regularly, he loses confidence in himself. He uses females to fill a void, and to avoid facing the reality that he is not comfortable in his own skin—something he’d have to be to let a woman really get to know him. A real man can commit. He doesn’t use women to make himself feel a certain way—he simply selects one woman who he thinks is so fabulous that he wants to make her feel a certain way (i.e. hot, unique, loved and all that good stuff.) In other words, a real man wants to give to, not take from, a woman.

A real man communicates

A real man doesn’t put his hand up, turn away or hang up the phone when there’s an issue. A real man doesn’t think it’s too feminine or weak to talk about his feelings and work things out with words. A real man has a level head, and doesn’t get overwhelmed (as little boys do) at the concept of putting thoughts into words. You know, that thing you learned in kindergarten…He doesn’t shut down when the conversation is not one he’s ready to discuss, and hopefully he won’t just agree with you for the sake of getting you to hush up.

A real man doesn’t yell

Granted, we all raise our voice sometimes, but yelling all the time? That’s not a good look. Yelling is a dead giveaway that someone has lost control of the situation and feels insecure. Yelling never accomplishes anything. It is a way for one person to assert a false sense of authority over another and it makes a man’s partner uncomfortable with bringing up things she knows need to be discussed for fear that it will cause a big fuss. A real man doesn’t do this because A) He isn’t trying to assert authority—he considers this an equal partnership and B) He fights with the goal of making the two of you closer again, certainly not to drive you away.

A real man doesn’t constantly complain about life

He doesn’t complain about his job, about the apartment, about his life. He always has the calm and cool understanding that everything is within his control, and that if he pauses and thinks about it, there are steps he can take to fix things he is unhappy about. A real man takes responsibility for his own life and realizes it doesn’t suck because his boss is mean, his landlord is a jerk, he is overweight or whatever. It sucks because he made those choices and put himself in those situations, and only he can get himself out of them. And complaining is not the ticket.

A real man likes a real woman

A real man likes a strong, opinionated, confident woman with a good head on her shoulders. He likes a woman who is the leader of her own life (and body) and is ambitious, has an active social life, is curious about the world, dresses however she wants and lives however she wants. A real man does not look in any way to control a woman. But a real man also understands that sometimes a real woman becomes emotional, and that he should never make her feel silly or bad for this. Instead, he should comfort her, let it pass, and let her get back to being her strong, bada** self as if it never happened.

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