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Ever wonder why a budding romance seems to be going so well for a spell, only for it to come crashing down in flames after a few short weeks or months? Sometimes it’s simply not meant to be, but most times it could be our own behavior sabotaging our love lives over and over again. We know we may be doing something wrong, but we don’t want to take a close look at ourselves and own up to it. It’s time to do some soul searching and break the routine of bad emotional habits that could be ruining your chances at a healthy relationship.

1. Allowing Everyone in Your Business

Some people don’t know how to keep their friends and family out of their relationships. If you and your man have a fight, your girls don’t need to know ALL of the details. Sure, you may need to vent, but your besties will still hold a grudge against your man long after you’ve forgiven him…and they won’t let you live it down. Pretty soon they’re giving him the side eye and spreading your business all around town – and he’ll resent you for not keeping your private lives between the both of you. Loose lips can get you dropped – quick, fast and in a hurry. Keep your business to yourself.

2. Not Fighting Fair

Every couple fights – it’s inevitable. But there’s a way to disagree and resolve a disagreement without damaging your relationship. Using personal information against someone or spewing words that hit below the belt is a sure sign that you have no regard for your partner’s feelings. Arguing doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful, and how you argue can tell a person if you truly value them, even in the heat of the moment. A person may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. To keep your relationships strong, be kind…even in times of conflict.

3. Having the Last Word

It’s one thing to have a disagreement, and it’s another to argue simply for the sake of arguing. At this point, you’re not trying to resolve an issue, you’re talking to one-up your partner, showing him that you don’t want to make peace – you want to make war. Always having to have the last word tells your partner that you care more about “winning” or being “right” rather than being worried about nurturing your relationship. Pick and choose your battles, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Relationships shouldn’t be a competition, and sometimes biting your tongue says a lot more than having the last word.

4. Never Saying You’re Sorry

Along the same lines of having the last word and always being right, there’s something utterly annoying about a person who can never admit when they’re wrong. It’s no fun being in a relationship with a “know-it-all” – especially when that person really knows nothing at all and can’t admit it. And if you’re dealing with someone who hurts you, but is never remorseful about it, your relationship will sink faster than the Titanic. If you find that pigs are going to need to fly before you apologize for any wrong doing, no matter how big or small, you will find that you will always be right…but you’ll be right by yourself.

5. Fighting in Public

Since we’re discussing arguments, let’s not give folks something to talk about by arguing in public. When you fight in a restaurant, on the street, on the train or in the movies, you look silly, no matter if you think you’re “right” or “wrong” – and it’s embarrassing to your partner. While some people thrive on drama, most men don’t like being put on blast by a chick who can’t control herself. He’ll run for the hills and never look back…and rightfully so. If this is you, save yourself from that ratchet behavior.

6. Always Late

While this may seem trivial, nothing says “inconsiderate” like always keeping someone waiting. Consistent tardiness epitomizes selfishness and conveys to the other person that you don’t value their time. Five or ten minutes may not be a big deal – but if you constantly saunter in late for dates or important functions as though you don’t care, you may show up one day to find that you are waiting there yourself…alone.

7. Letting Yourself Go

You know how it goes – you both start eating in, watching movies, and next thing you know you’ve gained 10 “love pounds.” We get comfortable in our relationships and stop doing our hair, applying makeup and rockin’ our fiercest outfits in order to get his attention because you’ve snagged him already. Wrong move. Sure, you may not need to dress to the nines EVERY single time you hit the movies or meet up, but be sure to work at being the same fly chick he met who was put together from head to toe. Letting yourself go may send him a signal that you don’t care to impress him anymore, or that the “you” he met was an imposter. Even if it’s just a little lip gloss, make him feel special by getting dolled up for him every once in a while. If not, his head may start turning for another fly chick who USED TO look like you.

8. Nagging

So there’s a glass in the sink – don’t badger him for not washing it. He forgot to take out the trash? It sucks, but consider taking it out yourself. Constantly nagging a person will drive them crazy, especially when what you’re nudging them about is no big deal. Rather than always pointing out what he’s NOT doing, be sure to try and reassure him when he’s doing things right. Tell him three things that you love about him, or that he does well – and do it every day. Pretty soon, you’ll find that he’s looking for ways to keep you happy, not to make you mad.

9. Cheating

I always wonder why people who are prone to cheat find themselves trying to be in a monogamous relationship. If a person can’t be faithful, it goes without saying that his or her relationships are doomed to fail – yet so many people who are habitually unfaithful still find themselves looking for love. It’s as if some magnetic force pulls them back into the same behavior time and time again, knowing that it’s wrong, but unable to control themselves. It may take some soul searching – and possibly therapy – to uncover the reasons why one cheats, but this terrible habit can be broken if you want a successful relationship one day. Just be sure to remain single until you feel you can be faithful to a deserving partner.

10. Taking Your Partner For Granted

Sharing your life with a special person is a gift, not a guarantee, so make sure you say “please,” “thank you” and “I love you” as much as possible to let them know that you care. After we’ve been in a relationship for a few months or years, we can get complacent and forget to remind the person we love why we fell in love with him in the first place. If we give the impression that we take their presence for granted, they may seek validation elsewhere. Don’t ever give another woman an opportunity to make your man smile brighter than you do, and don’t let him do the same to you.

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