Sweet or Needy: Which Are You?

February 27, 2012  |  
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A woman’s biggest fear is coming off as needy. Why else would we be taught exactly when to respond to a text, when it’s okay to ask a guy out, when it’s okay to say, “I love you” for the first time? It’s engrained in our minds, put the breaks on. So, want to know if you’re being needy or just sweet in your relationship?

You miss him when he’s not around

That’s normal! If you didn’t even notice your man’s absence, then you aren’t that into the guy. It’s normal and healthy to think, “I wish he was here to share this with.”

You get anxiety when he’s not around

That is needy. That implies a co-dependency that has formed. You don’t feel secure enough in yourself, or in the relationship, to just enjoy yourself when your man isn’t there. If you get anxiety when you are separated from your boyfriend, that means you think even the tiniest time apart could weaken the relationship. And that is needy.

You text to make him smile

You send him a sweet text in the middle of the day and all you are expecting is that he will smile, maybe laugh, and turn his phone over and get back to work. That in and of itself will make you happy.

You text for affirmation

You text because you need to constantly re-connect throughout the day. You feel you two are drifting apart if you haven’t spoken for a few hours. If you don’t hear back from him, you think, “He doesn’t feel the same way!” That is needy.

You argue over an issue

You are genuinely upset about something he did that you feel is wrong. You want to communicate about it and see how you can move forward without it happening again. That is normal.

You argue for attention

You may not notice when you do this, but if you’ve been getting into a lot of arguments lately, it is for one of two reasons. 1) Your relationship is shaky (sorry) or 2) You are craving attention. Getting your boyfriend riled up makes you feel that he cares about you, so you pick fights over little things. That is needy.

You crave sex for intimacy

And if your man is just so exhausted or not in the mood one night, you understand. You’re bummed, because you feel close to him when you have sex, but that is normal.

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