UPDATED: Feb. 1, 2021 —
Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you?
When you’re dating there are things guys make a conscious effort not to do for women they don’t care about. They often do this in the hope that it will stop the woman they are seeing from catching feelings or expecting more from them, but it rarely, if ever, works.
However, if a guy is serious about you, there are clear signs that indicate his love for you. In fact, a 2018 study from The University of Alberta showed that men and women across all cultures use similar behaviors when they like someone. So if you think a man is into you, they are probably exhibiting signs that you might do yourself. “You can tell if someone likes you—whether that’s a new doctor, a colleage at work or a prospective partner, regardless of gender or cultural background—if they exhibit certain behaviours,” said Christine Kershaw, the co-lead investigator of the study.
Simply put: if you catch your guy doing certain things, you can be sure he knows exactly what he’s doing. And he’s planning to be in it for the long haul.
Here are 21 signs a man is serious about you:
1. He inquires about your day
If you had a job interview that you believe didn’t go so well, a meeting with your boss about a possible promotion, an important doctor’s appointment, or basically anything you casually mentioned is coming up and he makes a point of calling you to ask how it went, he is serious about you.
Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life. A man who asks thoughtful questions about the daily happenings in your life is interested in getting to know you better. In fact, he finds you interesting and wants you to know that he is giving you his full attention.
2. He clarifies those missed calls
Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things.
But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was busy with a call for work,” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was in the gym and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. Men know how much a delayed call and texts upset us and the last thing he wants to do is get on our nerves.
3. He wants to make you laugh
Okay, everyone knows his jokes are corny. Even his mama agrees. But he’ll tell them to you all day just to see you laugh or hear you make fun of him.
A study from the University of Kansas found the when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and the more a woman laughs at those attempts, the more likely the woman is interested in the man.
4. He offers to help
When you mention you’re moving, or putting together furniture, or even looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.
5. He makes sure you are safe
If you’re hanging out with the girls or simply spending time with your mom, he will call to make sure you are okay during your outing.
6. He loves spending time with you
“How a person spends their time is the clearest indicator of what truly is important to them,” says Richard and Namaste Moore, who are metaphysicians and life and relationship alchemists. “The general nature of time is self-evident. An hour consists of a certain number of minutes, a day of hours, and a year of days. But the precious, nature of the quality of our experience in spending our time cannot be quantified and offers us an amazing array of enjoyment. Someone who is very serious about you will be truly interested in the pleasure to be afforded by the time they spend, the time they make, the space they make for you in their life—which means in their home, their day, in those events and circumstances that are important to them.”
7. He plans ahead
If you’re just a fling to him, you are unfortunately replaceable to him. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do and he will begin planning for your future.
“When they talk about or plan for the future, are you included in those optimistic visions of what the future might hold?” aks the Moores. “When they make you apart of their dreams this can be a sign that they are very serious about you.”
8. He cares about your career
If he really cares about you, he wants all areas in your life to be great. If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and comes up with suggestions on how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good.
9. He respects your opinions
If you’re having an argument this man won’t belittle you or make you feel small. If he’s committed to you, he will hear you out and seek to understand your options.
10. He puts effort into his appearance
If a man likes you he’ll wear his best clothing and even wear cologne…just for you.
11. He introduces you to his family
If a man is truly into you, he will want to show you off to everyone he knows, including his family. He will bring you to family functions and introduce you to his favorite loved ones.
12. He lets you eat the last bite
A man who loves you wouldn’t dare take the last bite of a meal. He will always offer it to you, and if you decline, then he’ll dive in.
13. He compromises
You like to watch romantic comedies and he loves action films. A guy who is into you will compromise and watch your favorite movie. Don’t expect this to be the case all the time, but if a guy really likes you, he’ll be willing to forgo his happiness from time to time just to see you smile.
14. He wants to be intimate
Men who are serious about women want to have sex with them as often as they can. They make their feelings clear and try to make you as comfortable as possible.
“Does their body instinctively reach toward yours for the simple joy of incidental, casual physical contact with you, e.g. sitting close to you, reaching out to touch you during a conversation, or when laughing?” aks the Moores. “All of these are non-verbal signals that send the message of intense interest and pleasure.”
15. He looks at you when you’re talking
Guys who have something to hide typically don’t look at you while you are speaking. If you ever want to investigate his seriousness, watch him while you’re talking. Where do his eyes land?
16. He gives you a title
A man who is serious about his woman isn’t afraid of titles. If he leaves you wondering what you truly are, maybe he’s not that into you.
17. His eyes light up around you
Men who are into women will have a special sparkle in their eyes. “Our pupils tend to dilate when we are observing someone we feel affection for—so in this case, the eyes are truly the windows to the soul,” says the Moores.
18. He brags about you…to his friends
If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.
19. He spends money on you
If you’ve ever questioned if a man is truly into you, ask yourself if he’s ever bought you a gift. Buying gifts (even if it’s small) is a simple way to show you truly care.
20. He enjoys cuddling
No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you.
21. He lets you win games
So you love to play board games huh? If he’s as into you as he says he is, he will let you win more often than not.
More on Madame Noire!