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Chrisean Rock took to Instagram May 6 to share heartbreaking revelations regarding the status of her toxic relationship with Blueface, the decision around keeping her unborn child and her regrets in light of her new journey into motherhood.
She is shedding light on the pain and doubt she’s experiencing and the road to parenthood for an upcoming docuseries coming to the Zeus network. Her on-again, off-again relationship with Blueface was at the center of Crazy In Love, a reality show documenting the couple’s complex and tumultuous relationship.
Rock shared some of the behind-the-scenes action from Crazy In Love in an emotional Instagram post and revealed that her relationship with Blueface has taken another turn for the worse. The young mom and her child’s father were at the doctor’s office as they saw their baby for the first time via ultrasound.
“Sheesh. I’m 20 weeks already, but when I see the face of what was growing inside of me, I had to pray the fear away of being a mommy. I’m currently documenting with @thezeusnetwork, and it’s super overwhelming because this pregnancy was planned, but now he doesn’t see a future with me anymore,” Rock wrote, referencing her unborn child’s feelings about moving forward with her.
The mother-to-be got candid, explaining the revelations she’s discovered with having her newfound fame, her love life and what she describes as the “bad thoughts” that come along with it all.
“I don’t want to be Rock anymore, I don’t want to be famous. I fucked up. I should have stayed in school,” she wrote.
Cameras rolled as Rock and Blueface listened to the heartbeat of their baby on the way for the first time. Friends and family are seen supporting the young couple, who have openly displayed their toxic relationship to the world.
“We both done things to each other that we lost trust. So, when I was left with the option of aborting, I was surprised I’m that far along. It’s no turning back from being a mommy. I instantly fell in love when I saw the face and heard the heartbeat,” she added, explaining that abortion was no longer an option because she was 20 weeks pregnant.
For Rock, the journey to motherhood has taken the front and center of her life, displayed on social media. During a recent Instagram Live, she said she wished she wasn’t pregnant.
“That’s how I am feeling. Is that a good feeling?” Rock asked her followers. “I was excited at first. But now I’m like. It’s exhausting.”
The vulnerable admission is one of many as Rock has documented her journey to motherhood ever since revealing the big news to fans in January.
“I’m probably not in the mood for real. That’s how I feel. I’m not in the mood for none of the baby conditions and shit,” the reality star said.
While the sex of the child has not been revealed, Rock and Blueface have openly explored names for their bundle of joy.
In her most recent Instagram post, Rock added that no matter what happens within her relationship, she is going to not let anything stop her from getting to the bag.
“I’m not going to move out of fear. I’m ok with moving on. I’m ok with letting go of anything that’s not for me. Having a child won’t stop me from making money, learning, developing more love and time for myself,” Rock wrote. “I don’t need a dollar from anyone to be here for this child. I’m blessed and highly favored, so that’s the only thing that matters right now. I can’t wait to show my journey through the ups and downs of this experience. Through it all, I’m going to win.”
