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couples sleeping in separate rooms

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Whether it’s snoring, tossing and turning, or other nuisances like having different temperature preferences, there are a lot of reasons sleeping in the same bed as a partner can disrupt one’s sleep. One survey even found that over half of couples say sleeping separately – or having what they call a “Sleep divorce” – improves their relationship. But not all who want to sleep in separate beds – or even separate rooms – do, for fear of the age-old rumor that that’s a sign of a failing relationship. So they continue to let their slumber suffer, all to prove to people who, honestly, barely care what they’re up to, that their romance is still alive and well. Not my husband and me.



My partner and I started sleeping in separate rooms a little over three years ago. At that point, we were over four years into dating and a bit over a year into living together. We had a two-bedroom apartment but shared just one bedroom when it came time to sleep.  Then, one week, I’d need to be getting up at an ungodly hour every morning for a special project, and out of respect for my partner’s schedule, I slept in the other room. The experience changed our lives and we never returned to sleeping in the same room again. A lot of people accuse us of being an “old married couple” when they hear this, but we’ve truly never been happier. We feel like we’ve hacked life a little bit. Here are the benefits of sleeping in separate rooms.

couples sleeping in separate rooms

Source: Prasert Krainukul / Getty

Control your sound

My husband claims he “needs fresh air” in order to sleep, so he wants the windows open. I don’t know how “fresh” the air is in the major city where we live, but fine. However, I wake to the sound of a pin dropping, which means I definitely wake to the sounds of horns honking, dumpster trucks picking up garbage, and neighbors’ screaming babies – all the things you hear when you open the windows to let in the “fresh air.” I have a loud sound machine that can drown out some of this, but my husband says the machine’s sound gives him anxiety. If you wake easily to noises, you need control over the sound in your sleep environment, and just can’t have that when you share a room. You typically land on some compromise that still leaves everyone unhappy.

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