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To judge means to form a conclusion about something. A conclusion. That’s very final. Perhaps that’s why court judges are called judges – what they say goes and that’s that. But most humans don’t make a judgment with as much evidence presented to them as a court judge receives (and even they are typically only getting part of the story). We make judgments with very little information and everyone does it to some extent.
It’s kind of human nature to judge. Assessing others is just a way we try to protect ourselves. But the truth is, like many survival instincts we hold onto from our great, great ancestors, our instinct to be judgmental isn’t serving us anymore – at least not enough for how much we do it. Being judgmental can verge into a degree that holds you back rather than helps you. You can probably already think of scenarios when you regret being so judgmental – you really didn’t have the whole story, and it turned out that you were wrong. As for all the times you judged harshly and were correct, did it really do you much good, other than the gratification of being right? Probably not. We spoke with two mental health experts about how life changes when you stop being judgmental. Marline Francois-Madden, LCSW, Founder of Hearts Empowerment Counseling Center, and Latasha Matthews, LPC, author of “The Dumping Ground” lent their expertise to this topic.
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We can stop pushing others away
Francois-Madden says when judgment manifests itself in expecting perfection from others, it can quickly create isolation for the judging party. “When people are too judgmental, they tend to be critical and leave very little room for error. They are often rigid in their approach and don’t allow room for grace. At times, they see the flaws in others but fail to embrace the strength in others. Depending on how they interact in social settings, they can easily push people away.”
