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empaths and dating problems

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I’m a super empath and it caused me a lot of pain in my earlier years of dating. Empathy is an important and wonderful thing to be able to feel and express. Nobody can conduct a healthy relationship—of any kind—without it. But, in life and love, finding happiness will be about finding that balance between caring for others while still caring for yourself, showing patience with others without getting walked all over, sympathizing with where someone is coming from while still recognizing that perhaps that person isn’t the best for you, and generally learning how to maintain your empathy while still putting up some healthy boundaries.

If I may be so bold to make this sweeping statement, I think that, early in their lives, most people fall far on one side of the spectrum or the other: they either aren’t empathetic at all, and need to work on that before any romantic relationship works out, or, they are all empathy, all of the time, and it gets them hurt and mistreated. The latter group need to learn that being understanding and compassionate doesn’t have to mean giving up your own needs, and letting people take advantage of you. You can be sweet with boundaries. You can be tough and tender.

You should also know that often, those in that first category I described—those who lack empathy—seek out those who are all empathy. Super empaths are a big target for those with no empathy. Those without empathy love to take advantage of others, and just generally take, and take, and take. Extreme empaths need to be careful out there in the dating world. Your empathy is a gift and a curse. Here are dating downfalls empaths need to look out for.


You want to cheer up the sad

You meet someone who is clearly depressed. Really, he probably isn’t in any condition to date right now. His outlook on life is very dark, and what he really needs—more than a girlfriend or a date—is a therapist. But you can’t just ignore someone who is down, and you take it upon yourself to try to date a sad man, to make him happy, and it brings you down.

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