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when breakups end bad

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Breakups are emotionally taxing. No matter how old you are, they never get any easier. That’s because there’s no age limit on having hopes and expectations surrounding love. Most people want that type of close, intimate relationship in their lives, and when it doesn’t work out, it’s very painful. You were attached, so then you must detach, and that process isn’t always easy. You feel vulnerable. You may want to do impulsive things to avoid the pain, like immediately jump into another relationship (that likely won’t work out, because you’re still healing), or drink, or spend too much money.

Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix for the pain of a breakup. Looking for one usually just means postponing the pain, and even allowing it to grow. But what are you supposed to do when the pain is too much? Don’t you just want someone to take your hand and walk you through it? While nobody can completely coddle you after a breakup, because your friends and family have their own lives to lead, you can get advice from a self-love expert on how to best manage the transition. And that’s just what we did. We spoke with licensed social worker Deana Davis, (IG: @deanadavis_lws) author of “The Self Love Workbook,” about what to do immediately after a breakup.


Deana Davis

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Avoid re-living it

Davis first went over some things one shouldn’t do following a breakup, and the first thing she mentions is “Negative self-talk about what you could have done differently to prevent the breakup. I always tell my clients that things fall apart for a reason and that the relationship will come back if it is meant to be.”

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