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To have and to hold

Source: LumiNola / Getty

Well into my thirties now, I’ve attended many, many weddings. There were a few summers in a row when I couldn’t save money if my life depended on it because I kept having to buy plane tickets and book hotel rooms and purchase gifts for weddings. Every time I thought I was in the clear, another little Save the Date would arrive in the mail. I loved and hated these envelopes because they meant two things: I got to attend a super fun party but it was going to cost me. I used to joke, when I received a wedding invitation, that I’d received “A bill in the mail.” I’ve also been a bridesmaid in a couple of weddings now, too, so I’ve seen what goes on behind the curtains and been a part of the drama, the ins and outs, and the particularities of it all. I’ve noticed some massive changes occur in the weddings I attended/participated in for my friends when we were all in our twenties, versus now when we’re in our thirties. Also, planning my own wedding right now (surprise!) I can see how my thinking about weddings is very different than it was a decade ago. Here is what it’s like having a wedding in your twenties versus your thirties.


20s: Huge guest list of acquaintances

In your twenties, you feel like you have more friends than you know what to do with. There are so many people you just love and couldn’t imagine not having at your big day. Honestly, you’re just still figuring out what you look for in a friendship, and haven’t yet weeded out some of the many, many people you’ll eventually weed out of your social network.

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