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Meka and Michael

Source: Tawney Holmes / lifetime

There is plenty that can be said about the recommitment episode of Married at First Sight last night, but what stuck out to me most throughout the episode, or really, the last few episodes actually, is how much it’s written all over Meka‘s face that she can’t stand Michael. Whether he’s anally trimming their plant or stumbling over his words to, allegedly, give her an anniversary trip to Jamaica, she’s critical of Michael, not only in terms of her disposition, but also openly in the way she addresses him.

I can agree that in order for their marriage to work, she is going to have ease up on some of the obvious annoyance (even in his corny moments she looks over it). However, I have to admit that I was confused as to why Dr. Viviana Coles asked her about whether or not she’s a “safe space to land” for Michael. Sure, we should all be kind to our spouses and allow them to know they have our support and understanding. But how does one soften up and be nicer and change their overall reaction to someone who lies about things, big and small, all the time?

Honestly, I found it unfair that a lot of the focus was on how she could be more vulnerable to him so that he could stop telling stories. Wouldn’t he need to come to terms with why he’s lying so much first? Her energy, since the honeymoon, has been based on his actions, and yet, he makes her seem like the coldest woman ever. The man literally lied when he told Pastor Cal that Meka never really initiated vulnerable conversations. We’ve watched her try and start conversations with him, asking him in what specific ways he needed her to be more vulnerable, which in frustration, he literally got up and walked away from.

I imagine it is hard enough to make the decision to be committed, no matter what, to being married to a stranger. How the hell can one be confident enough to maintain that commitment if they can’t trust anything that comes out of their partner’s mouth? I was able to see the importance in Meka moving on from whether or not Michael said sex was a necessity on the way to their honeymoon, but he’s lied about being a yoga instructor. He’s switched jobs without telling Meka. He won’t show her a pay stub to ensure that he makes what he says he does. Everything is a secret, or a flat-out lie, to the point that she struggles to believe anything he says and because of that, looks how she feels — disinterested. And instead of just owning that his stories are a problem, Michael blames it all on struggling to open up to someone who doesn’t make him feel comfortable; that and the fact that he was adopted — by his aunt — after his mother gave him up as a kid. That goes back to my point about experts needing to ensure people go through therapy early on in the process. He’s got some deeper issues that the experts clearly didn’t know anything about, because all they can tell him is to be honest and tell her to give him a chance to do so. Overall, it just feels like plenty of concessions have been made to handle Michael with baby gloves, while Meka has been asked to be sweeter to him so that he can open up and they can turn things around. But anyone with sense knows that if it weren’t for the confines of being in an actual marriage on TV and simply not wanting to get a divorce they’ll have to forever explain, no one would stick around to develop a relationship with and be a “safe space to land” for a habitual fibber.

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