MAFS: Does Meka Need To Let Go Of The “Sex During The Honeymoon” Comment?
How are we feeling about Meka and Michael now that they’re past the sex comments that were allegedly made before the honeymoon?
Oh wait, they’re not…
As we saw in episode seven on Wednesday, they met up with Pastor Cal after merging their lives into one apartment to talk about what they learned about each other, money decisions and plans for the future. However, we couldn’t get out of the past to really feel good about that conversation.
At one point in the talk, Michael shared that his love language of intimacy is important to him because of what he felt like he missed out on as someone who was adopted (that came after he shared his desire to adopt at some point). He was stating that he wanted to feel close with people he spends time with because of that.
Meka responded by saying she understood what he was getting at, but that past comments he made contradict this vulnerable moment he was having. This opened up the floodgates to talk about the sexual expectations drama during the honeymoon. When she brought up the “exact words” he said to her about needing to have sex during the honeymoon or they wouldn’t work, Michael continued to say that he didn’t say that specifically.
“There was a conversation about what that looks like on the honeymoon, as a general thought or expectation,” he said. “The word expectation was said but it was not, ‘I need this to happen or else.’ That’s the frustration.”
She replied, “He literally said ‘we need to have sex on our honeymoon or I’m not going to want to be in this marriage.'”
From there, Michael shut down as Meka explained that the root of her issue with the comment is her feeling as though she can’t trust him.
“He won’t even admit that he said it,” she said. “Whether that’s how he meant it or not, he can say, I said it but that’s not how I meant it.'”
But Michael continued to say he didn’t say it the way she claims or interpreted. Before we knew it, he was in tears and saying he felt like he was ‘failing’ in the marriage and struggling to deal with pressures being put on him. It was evident from the moment that past drama was brought up that he was getting overwhelmed and annoyed by talking about it.
As Pastor Cal would say in their presence to help them, the couple was supposed to be moving forward. It wasn’t happening though, and at this point, it’s hard to say whose fault that is.
I think it was very important that Meka confronted Michael about what she claims or felt he said on the plane to Panama, and for her to do so on camera to keep him accountable. While he never admitted he said things the way she recounted, he and Meka agreed during the honeymoon to try and start over “and put their best foot forward” based on the recommendations of Pastor Cal. That made sense, because with no visual proof of what came out of whose mouth, it’s hard to know what to believe, especially since both parties were so adamant that they were being truthful. With that being said, can there be a clean slate to start on if the couple can’t let this go?
I think if Meka and Michael, who only have eight weeks to to get to know each other before having to make a decision, have any hopes of getting to make the most of their time together, steps have to be taken to stop bringing up that situation at every turn. And I know, that sounds crazy. If you feel like someone is lying about something they said to you that made you uncomfortable, you want to get the truth. But what happens when things don’t play out the way you want? If Meka wanted to use that instance as reason to bail on the marriage, she could have. People have split a few episodes into this show in the past. Nevertheless, she didn’t, which means she wanted to work on the marriage. She said so herself in episode six.
“I was very much unsure about this marriage,” she said at the time. “I think part of it was Michael, but I think the bigger part was me just getting over my own BS and just deciding to put my best foot forward.”
So bashing Michael over the head about the alleged comment won’t help her do that. (And neither will telling him what he “literally” said, word for word, about even silly things like his cooking abilities.) She can’t make him admit to anything, and if he feels he was misunderstood, then why would he? They’re still getting to know each other so at this point, I’m not expecting either party to lie on the sword to totally bury that conversation for the benefit of their marriage, but I would hope they would just agree to disagree and try to do better in the future, especially if they’re talking about kids and who will be breadwinner.
Last episode was all about moving forward, and for goodness sake, it would be good to watch them actually do so on the show. With that being said though, she can let go of one bad comment while also keeping her antennas up in case a similar one happens again — on camera or off — and calling him on it. Because if Michael hadn’t learned that he better watch his words with Meka after the honeymoon went sour, then he deserves whatever heavy-handed scolding she may have up her sleeve down the line.
Hit the flip to see how people are feeling about Meka and Michael these days on Twitter: