Are You Jealous of Your Single Friends? It Happens…

November 8, 2011  |  
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Relationships are cool. Marriage is great. Love is beautiful. But, being single is actually not so bad either. In fact, the freedom to slide through the front door at 5 a.m. feels pret-ty awesome. And, though some of us coupled-up women refuse to admit it, there are moments when we miss the single life.

Grass has a way of looking greener on the other side; and, human nature has a way of coveting the best of both worlds. We see our single friends delighting in the joys of freedom—flirting at happy hour, mid-week GNOs and, oh, the sweet sound of silence.

Many of us spend so much of our single lives looking for ways to get into relationships that we miss how fun it is to be a part of the Single Ladies Club. And, it’s not until those days are gone that we yearn for one more round of happy hour singles meet-and-greets disguised as networking events; or one more impromptu Tuesday night trip to the movie theater with the bestie.

Think you may be secretly thirsting for the single life, again? Here are signs you’re (a little or a lot) jealous of your single girlfriends:

You have an itch to flirt.
This does not necessarily mean you’re not happy with your man. Flirting is fun; the idea of a chase is exciting. Women enjoy being pursued, especially by attractive men. You likely have no intention of taking things beyond “innocent” conversation, but (psst!) that’s how affairs get started. Flirting is something your single friends can do, but, when you do, you are potentially playing with fire. Ouch!

You just want to go.
There is no place in particular. You just want to go…somewhere, alone. Your single friends move at their own pace and do as they please on their own time. While good relationships incorporate me-time, it’s not just your time anymore. Coordination and compromise are usually involved. When single girls want to go, they go. No questions asked.

Your friend’s new boyfriend has a hot set of friends.
Look, but no touch for you boo. While the rest of the group moves in, you’re sitting back pondering on why you settled down with a semi-attractive man. He’s totally amazing though—loving, emotionally available, faithful, smart, the whole nine yards…yeah. It’s not until you can’t do it anymore that you realize casual dating wasn’t so awful after all.

Party, party, party!
Let’s be honest. No one parties like single girls. Couples get it in together every once in a while, but single girls can hit every rooftop party, every day of the week. And, I don’t mean trashy, broken heel kind of partying; I’m talking glamorous Sex and the City haute-spotting. Who doesn’t get the urge to throw on their favorite LBD and a hot pair of Choo’s (ok, Jessica Simpson booties) and hit the streets? You do.

Road trips
Remember those spur of the moment girlfriend getaways? Yeah, can’t do that anymore. When you get married or seriously coupled-up, vacations (because everything is a vacation) have to get thoroughly planned out. It’s okay girl: so maybe your bladder was the cause of multiple stops and, for that, your friends are grateful to your husband who can now vacay with you. Now, it takes them six hours to get to the mountains instead of eight.

Off-the-Whim Shopping Sprees
Your single girlfriends can bust their budget on a weekend of post-breakup indulgence; you, on the other hand, are reduced to an adult time-out when your husband is in one of his moods. It’s not that you don’t have the freedom to splurge but, since you’re married, you are expected to behave like a fiscally responsible adult. BOOOO!

You are a teensy bit jealous, aren’t you? Don’t worry. Your feelings are normal. The good news is, if you are with a man you truly love, traces of jealously will soon subside…at least until menopause kicks in…

LaShaun Williams is a Madame Noire columnist whose work has appeared in the New York Times and across several popular sites, such as HuffPost Black Voices and the Grio.  For more on love, life and everything in between, follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun and Facebook.

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