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Men aren’t as quick to catch on to things as women are. They lack the intuition and social intelligence females are born with. It’s amusing to watch a couple argue, because men aren’t playing dumb when a disagreement “mysteriously” comes out of nowhere. He just doesn’t get it.

A man needs some things explained using simple language and easy-to-follow steps. It may take some time. But he will catch on. By that point however, women are so secure in her brilliance, she carries on like he’s not too wise about anything.

So if the following applies to you, just know that at some point in time, he’ll have that “aha” moment, and will know full well that:

You were snooping

Text messages on his phone he doesn’t remember opening, ties he couldn’t find for weeks suddenly reappearing. At first your guy will shrug these off as insignificant glitches in the matrix. But as he thinks more about it, he’ll realize the only sensible explanation is that you were playing detective. Men know it’s nothing personal. Women are just good at following clues–they are nature’s natural sleutha. There should probably be more ladies in law enforcement.

You’re lying about your sexual experience level

It takes man years to figure out he’s not as fly as black women make him feel. When it comes to certain romantic acts, particularly Getting Her Jaws Worked, black women are the first to utter, “I don’t usually do this.” Those words make any guy feel lucky to be chosen. But when he hears it from every woman, he begins to suspect something is amiss. Luckily for you he’ll play along with the act by that point in time.

You Google him

This is the information age and you don’t have to wait until a botched date to discover red flags in a new guys background. As soon as you get the opportunity, he knows you’re going to Google him, prowl around his Facebook and call your cousin at the precinct to check for warrants. You just want a mental snapshot of who this man is. Men that know this clean up their YouTube videos and pimp their Facebook profiles for your enjoyment.

You’re not worried about divorce

No one wants to see his or her marriage fall apart. But in this day and age, women worry about getting married more than about getting divorced. Men are more cautious when it comes to tying the knot in the first place. First off, men of modest means worry about their livelihood should things in the relationship go south. It’s traumatic to lose a portion of your $60,000 year salary in a divorce settlement. And he knows you couldn’t care less, because you will be getting the money as the divorce will probably be his fault. Men fare off worse emotionally as well. But you’ll always have your friends.

You are less inclined to cook & clean than your grandmother

I’m an ’80s baby. I don’t know anyone’s grandmother or older who can’t cook, clean up a storm, take care of some babies and also have a paper route side hustle. Granted, times have changed–woman aren’t solely destined to be caregivers and now have ambition, big time careers and lavish lifestyles. Just how that translates to you skipping fundamental skills like cooking is beyond most men. There’s a cookbook for every lifestyle imaginable. He knows full well that you could do all those things his grammy did if you wanted to. But you don’t. But we know you could.

You like your man at least in part for his money

One of the first things that men catch onto in life is that money makes him more attractive to women. Although he’s not sure why, he knows the bigger the paycheck, the more eligible he becomes. It may be crass for either of you to admit it. He knows that’s why you’re with him — at least in part. It’s okay. That’s why he wanted to get rich in the first place, so it motivated him.

You wish he made more money

Related to the concept of “you like his money,” this one is deep enough it warrant a section all its own. This one he probably never figures out until some female slips and comes out and says it. He deals with it by knowing you consider it a trade off.  Sure, you can’t catch a chartered flight at Clearport or even get first class tickets on a regular flight, but deep down, he knows you take solace in the fact that you’re not threatened by him having an affair because no one else wants his broke A$$.

You date to eat at nice restaurants

Men know ladies are much more budget savvy when he’s not around. You and your girls are quick to go to the $5 chicken spot, then split the bill. Yet somehow, when he takes you out, a minimum of $100 is coming out his pocket to be in your kind graces. God forbid you like a few cocktails as well. For those of you out there taking advantage of this, dating men you have no intentions of sleeping with, so you can eat at some spot you discovered on “Sex and the City”–well done. You can do that a few times before we are onto you, so it’s only fair that you take advantage.

Am I right women? Or am I right?

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