CB: And what did you think of his philosophies?
KR: I agree with him. His philosophies were in agreement with what Amos Wilson was saying. And I was attracted to the fact that he was willing to put in work to actually bring it into fruition.
CB: What about his philosophies on Black women and Black women’s behavior?
KR: I’d seen some of his more recent videos on YouTube, but not the old ones. I had no idea he had been lecturing so long. I read where he was against Black women, but I was not aware of his old lectures.
CB: So tell me, when did you meet Dr. Umar?
KR: We officially met in Fort Lauderdale at a [Marcus] Garvey Day event. Initially my son did not want to go and I had to drag him. Anyway, I told him it is a chance for us to get around and network with the conscious community. At the event, I spent most of my time in the hallway because I heard the message before. So I was really there to network with other like minds and see how we could come and work together. That is where I met him.
CB: What were your impressions of him?
KR: I wasn’t attracted to him initially. I was interested in coming together with him to work. He was in education, and I was in education and I thought it would be a brilliant idea. He mentioned that he had a home-schooling network in Fort Lauderdale. So when I initially contacted him it was so that I could [volunteer] to go with the parents to mediation hearings at school because I had experience [being a parent advocate]. So I offered my services to be a part of that. And that was the initial attraction. I was surprised actually that he was even thinking along those lines.
CB: So you guys exchanged numbers, and you had it in your mind that his only interest was the home-schooling project?
CB: When did it become romantic?
KR: I went to Philly to see my family and–let me back up a little bit. We were supposed to meet up in Fort Lauderdale first. He had returned for another speaking engagement, and we were planning to meet then.
CB: When was this?
KR: In February of this year. So he sent me a text message and said something like, “I want a massage and a home-cooked meal.” So I took the text message as this man wants something more. Something sexual. So I decided not to go to that event. I stood him up. Instead, I went home to Philly. So while I was in Philly, he contacted me. He said [in the text] “You missed my event. I’m mad at you. Blah, blah, blah…” So I started to think maybe I was the one who was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t after that? So I started to second-guess myself, and I thought I had it wrong about what his intentions were. I felt like I had to make it up to him because I had stood him up in Fort Lauderdale. So that is when I decided to meet with him in Philadelphia.
CB: So when you’re saying that you second-guessed yourself and maybe you misinterpreted his intentions, are you saying that you thought that he wasn’t coming on to you?
KR: I thought that maybe he wasn’t coming on to me because some guys are shy. And they don’t know how to really talk to a woman or even approach a woman. So I thought that maybe I was overreacting. Maybe he was being sincere. Maybe he just wanted a home-cooked meal. So that is why I started to feel guilty and thought, “I’ll make it up to him. I’ll go see him.”
CB: When did you guys start dating? Or were you dating?
KR: Yes, we were dating. We started dating after our first encounter in Philly, which was in early March. He told me that he was not letting me go. In fact, he promised to do a whole lecture on strippers to set the record straight. So yeah, we were like, regular dating.
CB: What was your first date like?
KR: So our first date was supposed to be at a vegan restaurant in Germantown [Philadelphia], and he asked me which one because his daughter’s mom owned one of them. So I had to find out the name of it before we could go. But due to a flight delay, he didn’t get in until late. So that is when I decided that okay, I’ll cook you something, and we could go another time.
CB: I know this is personal, but when did you guys start having sexual relations?
KR: I would say around mid to the end of March (after four dates).
CB: So you are texting and having conversations, going on dates and you finally consummate your relationship. How long after that was the end of the relationship?
KR: It ended in May. No, I had ended it first in April, around the 16th. We had an argument then.
CB: What was the nature of your argument?
KR: Basically, I was seeing all the inconsistency. And it didn’t feel right. I was constantly trying to get answers that made sense about all of his inconsistencies. He kept telling me the same lies: my flight is late; my family is at my apartment so I couldn’t come over; things like that. It was always an excuse why we had to meet so late. It was becoming harder and harder for him to tell the same lie.