The Language of Love: How Miscommunication Leads to Complication

10. He says: “It’s not you, it’s me.”

You hear: “You’re way too good for me, and I’m intimidated by your awesomeness.”

He means: “It’s not me, it’s you.”

If a man has any type of soul, he’ll feel guilty about breaking up with you, especially if he feels as though he may have led you on.  This familiar little phrase usually comes right after you start crying and demanding an explanation.  Unless he’s a heartless sociopath, a man usually hates to see a woman cry.  The truth is, when this phrase gets uttered it usually means the exact opposite, and that’s not always a bad thing.  Your personalities might be stellar separate, but crash and burn when combined.  A brave man will recognize this early and cut both of your losses.  In this case it’s not you or him, it’s the circumstances.

While I will never think or speak like a man, I appreciate my father and all of the ex-boyfriends, crushes and cousins and who were honest enough to tell me exactly what they were thinking, straight with no chaser.  If you truly listen to some of the men in your life, you may learn a thing or two.  As long as you accept that the language of love is open to interpretation and understand men and women communicate differently, you’ll save your relationships a lot of stress and confusion.

Toya Sharee is a community health educator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health.  She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee.