The Language of Love: How Miscommunication Leads to Complication
4. He says: “People make such a big deal out of titles. As long as we know what’s going on, I shouldn’t need to call you my girlfriend.”
You hear: “Titles make the relationship official and I have commitment issues.”
He means: “By not calling you my girlfriend, I have an excuse to use if you ever catch me with another girl.”
Actually, I kind of agree that most people place way too much emphasis on relationship titles, and don’t focus nearly enough on the characteristics associated with them, but that’s no excuse not to have them. Titles bring into play rules and boundaries and make people aware of their responsibilities. In my experience, men hesitate when using titles not out of fear out of commitment, but as leverage in case they are caught exploring other options.
