Check His Footwork: What His Shoes Say About Him

Sandals: I know men, who will swear up and down that they will never be caught in sandals. I have asked several men why they won’t wear sandals and the always given answer is because “it’s gay.” I don’t understand it either but I also found out today from a thread in one of the FB groups I belong to that bananas on your pancakes is gay too.  What is certain is that many straight men have an irrational fear of being perceived as homosexuals.  Therefore no sandals – like ever. Even if they are down the Shore, they will be on the beach with Trees or some Air Force Ones. I have seen this first hand.

One caveat: But if you do see a guy with sandals, particularly earthy sandals like Birkenstock, he is probably a man, who doesn’t care much what anyone thinks of him. In fact, he is probably engages in lots of interest considered “unmanly” including yoga, veganism and trail mix.  If this is the case, make sure to hide the beef sausages and stretch properly before dates because this against the grain-colored sandal-wearing dude is going to wear you out – with hiking and extreme mountain biking. Oh what? You thought I meant sex? Ha. You are going to be so tired from all that outdoor fun you’re going to have to even consider knocking the sandals.