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You and your man may enjoy a lap dance from time to time or get a kick out of tossing dollars (ones I hope) to Rick Ross’ latest mixtape but, let’s be honest, you hope to God never to see your daughter on one of those stages.

Strippers may be objects of infatuation in our hip hop-driven millennial culture, but the dark cloud of filth and (assumed) promiscuity still looms over the “profession.” As a parent, undoubtedly, one of your goals is to raise a daughter of whom you can be proud—which means you also want to keep her off of the pole.

Keeping your daughter off the pole in today’s society requires more than it did 10, 20 years ago. So, here are few tips to help you get a head start as a parent myself:

Build self-security rather than self-esteem.

Although all of us were created equally in humanity, each of us has been blessed with various talents and attributes in different ways. Some women are more physically attractive than others and garner more male attention as a result. Others are more gifted intellectually. And, the women who we like to deem the really lucky girls appear to have both. It is critical to empower our daughters to be comfortable in the skin in which God created them—nothing more, nothing less. She was given a unique set of DNA to be herself. Unlike self-esteem, self-security does not focus on empty compliments and vanity. Rather, it about inner beauty and self-assurance that translates into confidence and magnetism instead of cries for peer validation. The amount of substantial compliments given should greatly outweigh the superficial. Highlight her knack for organization. Build up her ability to solve problems quickly. Those traits matter in the long run. After all, what does the pretty girl who places all value in what people think of her outward appearance have left over in the case of a physically-altering accident?

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