Stop Erasing Asexuality As A Sexual Identity, It’s Real AF

Myths About Asexuality

Source: Johner Images / Getty

It’s A Choice

Asexuality is sometimes mistaken for celibacy or abstinence. But, celibacy and abstinence are a choice that anyone can make, regardless of sexual orientation. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, and so it is not a choice. Celibate and abstinent individuals do experience the desire to have sex but do not act on that desire. Asexual individuals do not experience that desire in the first place (most of the time).

It’s A Symptom

Another misunderstanding about asexuality is that it is a symptom of a mental illness or personality disorder. Much of the psychology community still struggles to grasp the idea that a person could be emotionally and mentally well and simply not experience sexual desire. In many cases, asexual individuals deal with mental health professionals who suggest they will discover sexual feelings, once they’ve worked through certain emotional or mental problems. However, this idea can be insulting and dismissive to asexuals. Asexuality is a sexual orientation. Suggesting that any other sexual orientation were a “symptom” of a mental illness would be extremely problematic and discriminatory.

Asexuals Don’t Have Feelings

Asexuality only pertains to one’s ability to feel sexual attraction and have sexual desires. It has nothing to do with their ability feel love, crave closeness, and even have romantic feelings. Many asexuals still want to cuddle, hold hands and experience other forms of physical, intimate touch. Asexuals can and do have romantic relationships that go far beyond a friendship, but just don’t include sex (or at least not often).