B. Simone recently revealed that she experienced her first orgasm ever and was met with a lot of criticism.
“Fun fact: I had my 1st orgasm ever in life last month. I’ve been celibate for 10 months…what does that tell you?”
This tweet left some confused while others blamed her for not orgasming, saying her “box was mid” and that she was dealing with men who didn’t care about her. Most likely, neither of those are the case.
B. Simone has dealt with an issue that affects many women: the orgasm gap. Many research studies have shown that men are more likely to orgasm than women. A 2016 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior stated that 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasmed during sex, compared to only 65% of heterosexual women. Another study by the International Academy of Sex Research found that 63% of heterosexual women had orgasms compared to 85% of heterosexual men.
“The number-one reason for the orgasm gap — and it’s not the only one — is our cultural ignorance of the clitoris,” Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It, told NBC News BETTER.
Most men don’t understand that the clitoris is the main source of pleasure for women, not their rapid, and sometimes painful, thrusts into our lady parts.
“The bulbs of the clitoris surround the vagina, and that’s why — when the clitoris is engaged and aroused — penetration can feel amazing, but when it’s not aroused, it can feel really uncomfortable, or like nothing, because the sensation and pleasure comes from the clitoris, not the vagina,” feminist Sophia Wallace told NBC.
The Wild N’ Out star pointed out that all the men with so much to say probably wouldn’t even know what the clitoris is, and she was right. One study done by YouGov stated that 59% of men couldn’t label the vagina when shown a diagram.
B. Simone isn’t the only woman who has come forward and spoke about experiencing the orgasm disparity. DJ Envy’s wife Gia Casey said she didn’t orgasm for 10 years of she and his relationship. She kept quiet all those years in order to spare his feelings.
“We would be intimate and he would be putting his best foot forward like, he is in the business of satisfying just all around. He lives to make me happy, and he puts his best foot forward in that role,” Casey told The Shade Room. “So I would see him trying and really going to work, and I’m sure many women can relate, you want to reward that man for that work and the only reward that you have to offer is an orgasm. And even if I didn’t feel it, I would still be performative.”
Men, instead of blaming B. Simone for something that isn’t her fault, educate yourself and have conversations with your partner about intimacy. Most men think penetration is the key to an orgasm and don’t even know what their partner needs in order to experience pleasure. Do you know where or what the clitoris is and the essential role it plays in women’s pleasure? Is your partner faking it to keep your ego intact? Do you even care (or ask) if your partner orgasms?