I’m not saying that sometimes men don’t give us plenty of reasons to become suspicious of them. But, the issue is, a lot of women live in a state of constant paranoia about their boyfriend’s daily activities and they think that is normal. However, it’s not. And there are plenty of relationships that are free of paranoia. If you’re displaying any of these behaviors, you may have become a paranoid sista yourself:
You’re cold towards other women
When other females come around—friends of your boyfriends, his friend’s girlfriends or even his sister’s friends—you find yourself tensing up and not speaking very much. You can’t relax enough to engage in the conversation. Instead, you’re too busy trying to pick up on signs that your man is interested in one of the other women, or visa versa.
You can’t focus when he’s away
When he is in Vegas with his friends, or even just out at a bar without you, you can’t focus on anything. You’re not listening to your friends when they’re talking to you, you can’t get work done. You’re just waiting for a check-in moment to occur: phone, text or for his return. Sometimes you even call and get mad when it sounds like he’s having fun without you. “What could be THAT much fun?”
You haven’t been affectionate
If you look back to the beginning of your relationship and realize a drastic difference between how affectionate you were then and now—and now it’s a lot less—you could be unconsciously punishing your man. You might think he’s offering up some of his affection to another chick, so you’ve got beef, even if your feelings or suspicions are unfounded. Something is blocking your urge to give him affection, and you know what it is. However, he doesn’t, and that’s not cool…
You’re checking his emails
Or better yet, text messages and call list. You’re trying to figure out who he is talking to aside from you and you’re so thirsty for evidence, when he’s not around you go on the hunt. This is never appropriate. And no, most women are not doing this—at least, not the non-paranoid ones.
You’re criticizing his friends
You’re becoming much more selective about who your man hangs out with, thinking that he could be persuading your boo to get his mack on with other women when you’re not around. You’re picking up on any comment that “crosses the line” from his friends, trying to find which individual is a bad influence. When you decide, you make your feelings known to your man in the hopes that he’ll spend less time with said friend or bring him around less. Yeah, good luck with that.
You’re siding with his mom
She doesn’t like his friends who party a lot, she doesn’t like that he parties a lot, and she thinks (what a coincidence) that he should spend more time at home. Of course, you agree that he should spend more time at home–with you, so you two have created an unlikely bond that I’m sure he’s not too stoked about.
You become curious about his exes
You suddenly want lots of unnecessary details about them—what they used to do, what they dressed like, how they were in bed, why it ended. Essentially, you want to see if he has a certain “type” and maybe whether or not you do or don’t fit it. You’re looking for “proof” that he is losing interest so you can do something about it, or find a reason to confront him about it.
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