You’re enjoying the pity
You are enjoying the pity that people are giving you while you say that you are hurt by what your friend did. And you can only claim you’re still hurt if you’re still mad. If you forgive the friend, your pity party will come to an end. Once you’ve forgiven them, there isn’t much of a reason to be retelling the story to everyone and claiming that you’re in a terrible place emotionally because of what somebody did. Imagine if you still tried to gain that pity and word got out that you’d already accepted the apology. You’d look ridiculous. So you don’t accept it.