What You Discuss At Girls Night In Your 20s Vs 30s

February 7, 2019  |  
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female friendships change

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I had some girlfriends over for wine the other night and at one point caught us talking, enthusiastically, about equity. I had to take a second and laugh because there’s no way our 20-year-old selves would be caught dead discussing equity. That’s not wine talk—that’s economics 101 talk. Wine talk, to us, involved boys, clubs, and clothes. But here we were, a bunch of 30-somethings, discussing the buying and selling price of equity in my friend’s company. These changes didn’t happen overnight—they happened slowly—but one day, we all woke up, and the nature of conversations during girls’ night had changed significantly.


20s: Roommate drama

In your twenties, you talk about roommate drama. You have one roommate who is having too many random people over whom you don’t trust. She eats your food. She’s late on rent. She wants to be BFFs and you don’t.


30s: Housing prices

In your thirties, you’re talking housing prices. You’re looking to buy. You’re discussing the last affordable neighborhoods that are still cute and safe. You’re talking credit, and the type of home loan that might get you.


20s: Just paying bills

In your twenties, it’s all about paying bills. You just wanted enough money to cover the basics, and a little left over for drinking with friends. If we could do that, we thought we were rich!


30s: Saving for the future

In your thirties, you’re talking saving for the future. You’re talking Roth IRAs, 401Ks, your ten-year financial plan, and so on. You might even be talking about saving money to quit your job and take on your passion, like writing.



20s: Hookup stories

Aw yes, the hilarious and turbulent and entertaining world of hookups. The guys with weird apartments. The guys who ghosted us. The guys who couldn’t get it up. The stories were endless.


30s: Dwindling sex life

In your thirties, you may be in a serious relationship—you may have been for quite some time now. So most of your talk with your friends is about how to keep the excitement alive. Unless, of course, you have single friends still—which you should.


20s: Finding the one

In your twenties, you were trying to find the one. You were analyzing dates. You were trying to figure out if this ongoing casual hookup with one guy could be more.


30s: Planning for the future with the one

By now, you may have found the one. Now, you’re settled and safe in your relationship, but you—as a couple—have new challenges. Do you want to have kids? When? Maybe one needs certain career things to happen first, but the other is itching to procreate. Will you stay in the city forever? Maybe one wants to move.


20s: Accidental pregnancies

Accidental pregnancies. Pregnancy scares. Someone who had kids too young, in our opinion. If pregnancy came up in conversation in our twenties, there was an air of concern and panic around it.


30s: Intentional pregnancies

In your twenties, people are having babies on purpose. You’re discussing where to buy good baby gifts and who is going to so and so’s baby shower and how much this one woman’s baby looks like the daddy.


20s: Fights with your mom

You still fought with your mom in your twenties. She really had a way of getting under your skin. You’d vent to your friend for an hour about this, as they would do to you about their moms.


30s: Caring for your mom

Now, you’ve stopped trying to be best friends with your mom and getting angry that you can’t be. You see your mom aging. You want to take care of her. You worry about her.


20s: Faking it at work

In your twenties, you didn’t know what you were doing at work. You didn’t even want to be at work—you just pretended to know what you were doing there so you could cash those paychecks and go drinking with friends. You and your friends swapped stories about almost getting fired constantly.


30s: Moving up in your career

Now, you aren’t just hoping a boss doesn’t notice your mess-ups. You are the boss or aspiring to be the boss. You’re talking to your friends about how to fund your business idea.


20s: Celeb gossip

In your twenties, you cared about celebrity gossip. You analyzed the breakup of reality TV couples. You talked about how this one celeb lost too much weight.


30s: The state of the world

In your thirties, you’re talking politics. You’re talking about the state of the world. You’re talking about taxes and rent control. You have no idea what’s happening with a reality star’s dating life.

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