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Last Thursday, rapper A-Boogie become a trending topic on social media after he announced his breakup with the mother of his children, Ella Bandz. While the Bronx rapper certainly is not the first public figure to announce news of their changing relationship status on a social networking platform, Boogie’s delivery is what garnered so much attention.

For starters, the way in which the announcement was phrased made it appear as though he was actually breaking up with Ella in real time by way of his Instagram Stories. Worse, he tagged her in the post.

“As much as I don’t wanna admit it, I don’t deserve you @slaybella_,” he wrote. “You have a beautiful long life ahead of you and I don’t wanna be the reason you’re not happy. Be free go be what you truly want to be.”

People had plenty to say about the message on Twitter, including one commenter who noted, “Not A Boogie telling Ella to be free ? After 2 damn kids, now you telling me to be free?”

As for Ella, obviously caught off guard by the post, she responded by making it clear that she was the one who ended things.

“Lmao we already talked about this in real life & it was my idea Idk why he coming on Instagram with it like he setting me free boy go to hell [eye roll emoji].”

We get it. Sometimes it’s necessary to announce a breakup on social media; however, here are some tips to avoid a cringeworthy moment such as this one.

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Don’t give too many details

When announcing a breakup, take cues from A-list celebrities and keep it short and sweet. There’s no need to divulge personal details about your romantic relationship to your entire friend list. For one, most of us have been on sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for a long time. That means that it’s very easy to forget some of the people you are friends with. There’s no need for your former professor or colleague to know that you’re leaving your boyfriend because he doesn’t know how to compromise. People are nosy enough as it is, so keep them out of your business as much as possible.

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Don’t tag them

Unless you’re issuing a joint statement, which clearly was not the case with A-Boogie and Ella Bandz, you should probably avoid tagging your ex in the post announcing your breakup. For one, it’s unnecessary. Two, it will make the awkward situation of telling the world that your relationship failed even more awkward by putting your ex on Front Street — unless, of course, that was your intention in the first place. Oftentimes, when a person is tagged in a status or photo, they will feel pressure to respond. In the event that the breakup was not mutual or even if it was, tagging an ex in your breakup announcement is setting the stage for messiness.

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Don’t rant

While you may be tempted to drag your ex in the announcement, especially if the relationship ended on poor terms, resist the urge to rant. While you may be giving your ex the dragging that they very much deserve, you will make yourself look messy and unstable as well. Heartache can cause the best of us to want to lash out, but in the long run, it’s almost always a better idea to stay poised and take the high road. And if you feel the need to rant, do that ranting to your trusted companions – not your followers.

Millennial entrepreneur using a smartphone

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Don’t argue

If the nature of your breakup was particularly controversial or toxic, avoid saying things in your announcement that will lead to public arguments. You can avoid this by following the previously mentioned tips like not tagging the person, not sharing too many details, and resisting the temptation to rant. Social media arguments are pointless and draining under normal circumstances, but engaging in a digital spat when emotions are running high is a recipe for total disaster. As much as humanly possible, keep it cute and if you must have it out with your ex, do so away from the public eye.

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Don’t sub

After a heated breakup, it’s very possible that you’ll want to let off some steam in the form of a subliminal message. While you may think that you’re able to take shots at your ex without tipping off your 1,500 other Facebook friends, the reality is that you probably can’t. No one’s that skilled at those things. People are, however, quite skilled at reading between the lines and sensing trouble in paradise. And honestly, subbing your ex on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter is not going to make you feel better. Avoid the passive-aggressive antics and say anything that you need to say to your ex privately and directly.

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Block them if you need to

Seeing a former partner move on and live out their best life on social media while you are tending to your broken heart can be absolutely soul-crushing. With that in mind as you prepare to go through the healing process, it’s okay to mute or even block them if you need to. That also goes for their relatives and friends whom you may have become friends with during your relationship. Sometimes you just need a clean break. What you don’t need to do; however, is make an announcement about your decision to all of your friends and followers – whether directly or subliminally. Do what you need to do to protect your peace and keep it moving.

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Don’t be petty

Your ex may very well deserve every petty jab that you can muster, but it’s best to avoid aiming shots at them on social media after you break up. Regardless of how clever you may find your quip to be, it will only make you look bitter and perhaps even unglued to spectators who don’t know the details of your relationship and breakup. There are other more productive ways that you can let off some steam that won’t cause you to feel embarrassed after the fact. Journaling or writing a letter to your ex to express your feelings, which you may or may not choose to send, are both great options.

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Do detox if you need to

Breaking up is hard and those Facebook Memories can be a real pain when you’re trying really hard to forget something or someone. Following a breakup, it can be helpful in the healing process to go through a social media detox so that you can move forward without dealing with constant reminders about your former relationship or newsfeed updates from your ex. Taking a week or a month-long break from social media can help you to remain present, improve your mood, and increase productivity. It can also help you to avoid the temptation of cyberstalking your ex.

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Don’t try to make your ex jealous

There are many ways that you may feel tempted to get back at your ex for hurting you and one of them might be seeking to make them jealous on social media. This could be by immediately posting pictures or statuses that feature or hint at the possibility of a new love interest. However, almost everyone will be able to see through your attempts and they likely won’t make you feel any better. Instead, focus your attention on working towards true healing and cultivating happiness as opposed to trying to paint a convincing picture on social media. You’ll feel much better in the long run.

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