Rapper Tauheed “Two Chainz” Epps recently found himself defending his commitment to wife Kesha Ward after a screenshot of a comment he left beneath another woman’s photo gained the attention of fans and media outlets alike.
The comment in question was left beneath a risque image shared by an artist with whom Epps is collaborating.
“N*gg*, you married a fan chimed in.”
Since the screenshot went viral, Epps took to Instagram to chastise fans and media outlets for their response to his comments and even shared screenshots of text messages he exchanged with the artist to prove that their relationship is platonic.
“We been working on her project and working on getting her out her current deal,” Epps wrote in an Instagram post. “Now that I explained that and I HATE TO EXPLAIN SH*T !! But when Kesha had folks calling her and talking sh*t had to straighten it !! A bunch lonely, jealous, no having a** h**s!!”
While we can definitely understand Epps’ frustration with people calling his wife behind an Instagram comment, we also can’t ignore the fact that his comment was in poor taste considering his marital status. When you’re a married person, there are certain things you simply shouldn’t do on social media. Here are a few of them:
Commenting on thirst traps
Epps’ recent blunder is a great example of why it’s best to avoid commenting on thirst traps when you’re married or in a committed relationship. While it may seem like a harmless act, this can send the wrong messaging to your partner as well as others who can see the comment. It’s less about caring what other people think and more about abiding by healthy boundaries and not putting your partner in uncomfortable situations.
“Use real-world boundaries as your digital guide. Imagine that your social media behavior is happening in person, with your partner standing right beside you,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin explained in an essay for the New York Times. “Would you make that comment or send that message with your partner watching? If you wouldn’t do it in the real world, don’t do it online.”
Sending DMs you wouldn’t want your partner to see.
Direct messaging offers a level of privacy that other forms of social media communication do not. While conversing in the DMs, lines can become blurred and conversations can begin to teeter into territory that reasonable people would consider inappropriate. If it’s something that you wouldn’t say in your partner’s presence or you suspect that your partner would be upset if they ever saw the message, it’s better not to send it.
“I think the slope is too slippery to ignore; many individuals walk text-message communication like a tightrope, sometimes without even knowing it. An extensive body of ever-growing research supports that social media and digital media is associated with violations of fidelity and decreased relationship satisfaction,” Dr. Zack Carter explained in an essay for Psychology Today. “Marital relationships experiencing one spouse communicating emotionally or sexually with another person through text report feeling the exact same feelings as those spouses whose spouse committed a face-to-face extramarital sexual affair (not beginning through text or social media).”
Airing out personal grievances
In moments of frustration, putting a partner on blast or sending not-so-subliminal messages may make some people feel better temporarily. However, they almost always regret this decision later. No matter how angry you are, it’s always better to handle marital issues in-house. Lashing out on public platforms can lead to irreparable damage to a relationship and lasting embarrassment.
“Over the past decade or so, social media has become a forum for some people to air or play out their pre-existing relationship problems, which only serves to make them worse,” LCSW Leslie Glass told Ebony.
Attempting to police your partner’s social media interactions
If your spouse has never given you a reason not to trust them, you should definitely resist the urge to snoop. It’s natural to be curious, but when you have an overwhelming desire to snoop through your partner’s phone and social media accounts without good reason, you should ask yourself why.
“The hard truth is that there is never a positive outcome from snooping; it can only hurt,” relationship coach Jase Lindgren told Bustle. According to Lindgren, snooping only leads to two outcomes:
“One, you find something incriminating,” said Lindgren. Or two, “You don’t find anything, and are left wondering if they just did a good job of hiding it, or [if] you need to look harder — and you’re now proving yourself to be the untrustworthy one.”