Seven Ways To Manage Parent Exhaustion According To A Psychologist
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Going through the COVID-19 pandemic has been a stressful time for many, especially parents. Besides raising their children, they became assistant teachers and tutors once schools abruptly switched to the virtual model. There’s more laundry, more cooking, cleaning, more noise, more tantrums and more exhaustion. Besides the distress of having children home more, there’s also the financial strain and loss of employment that has also affected many families and caused devastation.
So what are some constructive things parents can do to help take the edge off? Clinical psychologist, health service psychologist and board certified music therapist Dr. Bethany Cook has a few tips on how parents can manage their stress throughout the pandemic and beyond.
Stay in the moment.
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“Don’t let your brain run wild about the future or the past because we can’t control it. I know it’s not always easy to be present in the moment, especially when we have to plan ahead when thinking about childcare, bills, meals, budgets, etc. That being said, once you’ve finished the “practical” thoughts about the future stop and come back to the moment. This can be done by taking a deep breath and re-centering yourself in the room. Easier said than done, but just like anything, it gets easier with practice.”
Do something positive for your community.
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“This can be as simple as picking up trash to hosting nightly sing-a-longs with neighbors to boost morale. When the country went into lockdown back in March, I blasted three songs every night for 100 days from my front porch and emailed 79 neighbors the daily song choices. It became a magical time of day when old and young gathered, socially distanced, to sing-and-dance and enjoy one another. My kids and I have also drawn exercise routines on the sidewalk like hopscotch, written messages of hope and offered various painted rocks that the kids and we have painted. Since lockdown, we’ve given away over 280 rocks. We leave them on the fence and passersby take them so they don’t feel so “isolated.”
Join social media groups with like-minded people to share ideas and support each other.
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“Validation not only feels good it has therapeutic value and provides a soulful connection to others. Carving out a space in your social media life where you feel safe, heard, validated and supported by like-minded parents is vital. I host a FB group where I share short daily posts focused on humor and tidbits to help parents better understand themselves and their children. This is a safe space from politics or religion and really encourages all members to embrace diversity and think about parenting in inclusive and practical ways.”
Take mini-breaks.
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“When you start feeling overwhelmed or emotionally spent, take some time for yourself. Do whatever you need to do to carve out five to 15 minutes and really use this time as concentrated chill. Do a meditation, listen to three of your favorite songs, grab your favorite beverage and stare into space. Life is overwhelming and we need to keep ourselves mentally healthy and strong.”
Process your feelings.
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“Talk to those in your life who support your values and views. This may or may not be your family and friends. About a month ago, I started experiencing symptoms of depression so I talked to my spouse and best friend. By talking out my feelings I realized I needed space away from children and spouse and not just a 30 minute run to the store. I needed hours of uninterrupted time to myself to re-center and find me again. My wife took our kids to explore the woods in a nature park nearby for four hours two days in a row. It was the best therapy I could have asked for at that moment. “
Do activities that reflect your values as a family.
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“Talk as a family about the things that are important to you. Create a family crest with words and symbols that represent what your family believes in. Make a meal together and drop it off to someone in need. Work as a team to improve someone’s life and you’ll find yourself feeling better.”
Keep to your routine.
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“Everybody’s tired. Ain’t no one got time to come up with elaborate daily routines each morning. Find a routine that works most of the time and stick with it. Routines make us feel psychologically safe.”
