Why It’s Hard For Us To Hear People Out And What Happens When We Do It More

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tips for being a better listener

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How to calm down and tune in

Matthews provided useful tips for those moments when your urge is to blow up and walk away, but the more useful thing would be to remain calm and listen.

  1. Face the speaker and maintain good eye contact
  2. Keep an open and curious mind
  3. Be relaxed and attentive
  4. Listen to the words and visualize what the speaker is saying
  5. Tap into the feelings of the speaker
  6. Do not interrupt or defend the statements
  7. Nod and show affirming body language
  8. Summarize what the speaker is saying to show that you are tuned in
  9. Ask clarifying questions
  10. Pay attention to no-verbal cues and voice changes


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