When To Say No And How To Do It Graciously

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Pushing back on boundary-pushers

Sometimes, you put a boundary in place, and people just charge right through it. When dealing with them, Dr. Jackson suggests, “You first want to limit contact with the person and put time and space between the number of interactions with them, keeping interactions to a minimum. You may say ‘I’m sorry this talk is unproductive’ or ‘I don’t feel comfortable answering this at this time. How about we change the subject.’” There will always be those who still don’t respect boundaries, even after you’ve been vocal about them. In those cases, you just need to create an exit plan. Dr. Jackson says, “If the person persists in pushing or breaking your boundaries, find a way to walk away or exit the conversation, saying something like ‘It’s been nice chatting with you but I need to go to the restroom /get back to work/grab a bite to eat/ answer another call/get to another meeting or appointment.’”