A romantic relationship is the most intimate relationship a person has. So, it’s only natural that your partner impacts the way that you think. In a healthy relationship, your partner changes your ways of thinking for the better, encouraging thought patterns that are more positive, encouraging, and validating. When you’re in a healthy relationship with someone who really cares about your growth and wellbeing, you should find yourself with a brighter outlook on life, feeling empowered, safe, and hopeful about the future. If you are in a relationship, but the types of thoughts and feelings I just described sound foreign, or a million miles away, you may be in – sorry to say it – an unhealthy relationship. In fact, you may have a possessive partner.
A possessive partner will influence the way you think for the worse. They don’t make it clear at first that they’re doing this – they typically win you over with charm and affection. And then, the slow manipulation tactics start. They’re so subtle, that you may not notice them, until one day you wake up and you feel decidedly darker and less hopeful about life than you did before entering into this relationship. We spoke with Doctor of Marriage and Family Therapy Melanie Hussain (IG: @meltuition) about how a possessive partner can change the way you think.
A possessive partner preys on your insecurities
Hussain explains that one way a possessive partner begins to change your thinking patterns is by first identifying what your insecurities are, and then saying or doing things that confirm those insecurities. One example would be a possessive man recognizing that his partner has some body insecurities, and then making small comments like “Maybe you should wear a different outfit” or “You’re right – that doesn’t flatter you.” Slowly but surely, “They get into your mind,” says Hussain and “Feed that self-doubt.”