Chasing dreams is never easy. That’s why they’re called dreams – they exist in that space somewhere between reality and delusion, and it’s our job to bridge the gap between the two. If you are on your path to chasing your dreams, there are probably some obstacles you’re expecting. Hard work. Long hours. Lots of rejection. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like the newbie. Imposter syndrome. Demanding bosses. Lessons learned the hard way. You probably know there will be many things, people, and events that try to limit you. But you may have never guessed that the person who may work the hardest to limit you would be yourself.
Shining bright takes bravery. Standing out isn’t always comfortable – that’s why it’s called standing out, you’re separate from the rest. One thing that can be particularly challenging about success is feeling that it creates distance between you and your loved ones who have perhaps not attained success. It’s incredibly common to have feelings of guilt about surpassing your support system. Surpassing them doesn’t mean abandoning them – but you might tell yourself that it does. And if you do that, you might limit your potential in order to make those around you comfortable. When you get past the long hours and tough bosses and hard lessons, the final gatekeeper to success may be you. We spoke with Deana Davis (IG: @deanadavis_lsw), author of “Self Love Work Book” about signs you limit your potential to make others comfortable, and why you do it.
Expecting perfection is limiting
When we talk about limiting your potential to make loved ones comfortable, the mind might instantly go to not trying as hard, and not going after goals. But sometimes, limiting behaviors manifest in a very different way, as shown by one of Davis’ stories about a client. She brought up a client who is in medical school, and who wants to pay homage to her family who paved the way for her to get there. Every step she takes, she takes under the pressure of, “I must be perfect, for my family.” But those expectations of perfection can be limiting in and of themselves.