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I’m sure this will either strike some nerves, or elicit some strong agreement. Either way, I don’t think anyone will feel neutral about this post. But I think it’s an interesting and important topic to discuss: why do some people not only get divorced, but also then go onto marry and divorce multiple times? There’s clearly some ability to commit there, because the marriage occurs in the first place. But then, you’d think one divorce alone might put someone off to the idea of marriage. Some people make it onto marriage number two, but that’s it. Marriage number one was just a mistake—rushed into, or entered into too young—and by marriage number two, they learned what they needed to learn about themselves and relationships. You see that often: that marriage number two is the one that sticks.
So what of individuals who then go onto get a second divorce…and remarry, for a third time? Or a third divorce, and move onto spouse number four? It’s sort of shocking when someone who has been through that experience would even be hopeful enough to tie the knot yet again.
Even though I know every relationship and every person is different, and we never truly know what’s going on in a relationship unless we’re in it, maybe—just maybe—we can agree that when we get into three- and four-time divorced individuals, there might be some commonalities we can find in their personalities. Just maybe. If you show me two divorced couples, I’m happy to believe their reasons from splitting are entirely unique and different. But if you show me two people who have been divorced multiple times, I can’t help but wonder if they share some traits. I actually don’t need to just wonder because between my coworkers, friends, and family members, I personally know a sad amount of individuals who have been divorced a handful of times. And there are some stark and noticeable similarities between them all.
Difficulty compromising
You have to be able to compromise if you’re going to make a marriage work, or if you’re going to have a marriage in which one individual isn’t a totally miserable doormat. If you’re going to share a life with someone who has a different personality, different needs, and different wants, there will be many times when you want different things and compromise must occur. But some people are incapable of it.
