Do You Just Want Instant Gratification?
I struggle with being patient sometimes. I must have bought half a dozen website domains in my early twenties for ideas that I thought would be a big hit that I eventually abandoned after a few months, disappointed that my “genius” concepts weren’t taking the world by storm within a mere fiscal quarter. In my dating life, when I was young, I just wanted a boyfriend so badly that I wanted to skip the dating/getting to know someone phase. I wanted to meet his friends and run errands together, like an old married couple, by date three. Those were not happy years. I thought they were happy because, at times, they felt exciting. Constantly jumping from one pursuit to another is exciting…for a while. And it can masquerade as joy. But real, enduring happiness comes from staying in the pocket. So, do you just want instant gratification? Here are the signs.
You try to “crack” therapy
You tried therapy once (or maybe a few times). Even though friends and family told you what to expect—such as you need to put in the work to see results—you thought that didn’t apply to you. You thought you’d “ace” therapy within a few sessions (like that’s a thing). You got frustrated that your therapist only seemed to want to drudge up more issues and asked you to do more personal work. You wanted to go in there and prove you didn’t need therapy—you thought she’d give you a gold star and send you on your way. But she didn’t, and that bothered you. So you quit.
You give up on diets easily
You’ve tried just about every diet out there, but you only try them for a couple of days. You go out and spend tons of money on ingredients and appliances, very enthusiastic for this new lifestyle, and then you’re upset that your body isn’t completely transformed within 48 hours. So you give up, and seek a new diet.
You require fireworks on a first date
You’re all emotions on a first date. You want some sort of magical spark—right away. You aren’t listening to what the person is saying. You aren’t using your brain to assess compatibility. You’re just pretending to listen, waiting for fireworks to kick in. If they don’t, you don’t want a second date.
You try to start at the top
You never want to start at the bottom at a job. And you’ve had a lot of jobs, in a lot of different fields. You always try to pitch yourself to start high up—and sometimes you succeed because you’re persuasive. But then, it’s revealed that you don’t know what you’re doing, and should have started at the bottom. This angers you, so you ditch that pursuit entirely.
You move a lot
You move around a lot, always certain that a new city will be the answer to your problems. This town is the problem. No, this state is the problem. Nope—this country. Pretty soon, you’ll have your sights set on the moon. Yes—that’s the only place you can possibly be happy.
Your eyes wander in relationships
When you do get into relationships, the moment your partner gets a little too busy to pay you attention 24/7, your eyes begin to wander. You flirt with other men. You start posting tons of hot selfies online, putting out the bait for your next boyfriend.
You’ve started many businesses
There are a lot of LLCs with your name on them out there. And websites. YouTube channels. Perfume bottles. You get the idea. You’ve attempted to start many businesses that you abandoned because they didn’t become profitable within four months (keep in mind most businesses take at least two years to turn a profit—if they ever do).
Every new friend is a best friend
You often have a brand new best friend or group of friends…and then you suddenly hate that person. That’s because you want to skip the hard work and long years of just getting close to someone and getting to know someone. You want to skip to being besties who travel together and are moving in together! Then you learn things you don’t like because, well, you hardly knew each other to begin with. And you burn that bridge.
You rush every relationship
Every romantic relationship you have is incredibly rushed. Within a few weeks, you’re telling people you believe you’ll marry him. Within two months, you want to live with him. Again: you just want the rewards that come with putting in the time, without putting in the time.
You skip steps in projects
Whatever the project is—assembling a bookshelf or taking an online course—you skip steps. You don’t do the reading. It annoys you. It makes you feel oppressed. You think you can do without it.
You quit if you must redo your work
Then, low and behold, you fail at your pursuit because you skipped steps. The idea of having to go back and redo your work on anything makes you give up on it entirely.
Your free time is too active
Your free time is hyperactive. You must always find the hottest club/best party/trendiest bar. You want to be with the it crowd, to see, and be seen. You don’t spend your free time just having dinner at home with an old, close friend. Oh right—you don’t have any of those.
You prefer attention from strangers
You’d rather get the attention and adoration of strangers—men who aren’t your boyfriend, new “besties” you just met in the bathroom—than have a meaningful conversation with someone you’ve known for a long time.
You come in hot to every situation
Whether it’s a new job or a new hobby, you come in hot. You kick the doors down, ready to show everyone that you’ll be the best and that they’ve never seen anyone like you. You never enter a new situation quietly, ready to listen and learn. You want to show off.
Your friends are checked out
Your friends and family’s eyes glaze over when you talk about a new pursuit or a new boyfriend. They know that this, too, is just a phase. They’re tired of investing energy into the things you yourself won’t invest much time into.