When something is toxic, it seeks to spread its toxicity as far and wide as it can. Viruses, toxic gases—they all attempt to permeate everything around them. Toxic relationships are like that, too. So if you are in one, and you think you are “managing” it or “containing” it, you aren’t. It’s affecting everything and everyone around you to varying degrees. It is affecting your work. It is affecting your friendships. It is affecting your health. You don’t get to rule your toxic relationship: it rules you. That’s just what the nature of a toxic relationship is. Sadly, many such relationships leave people without any friends when it’s over. The relationship took everything they had, including the time and attention they should have given to friends. Are you being a bad friend while tending to your trash fire of a relationship? Is your toxic relationship harming your friendships? (Hint: yes it 100-percent is. Here is how).
You schedule around him
If a friend asks you to do something, even if you are free to do it, you don’t give an answer until you’ve checked first with your partner to make sure he didn’t want to maybe do something at that time. So the friend who does care enough about your time to plan something in advance gets the shaft in favor of your partner who doesn’t make plans with you.